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The NewShow: 8/12/15

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Comments (9)

  1. I’d say first, but damn yo, I’m the only one in this bitch

     
  2. Climate change is melting the glacier in our backyard. So, I peed on your cookie.

     
  3. 1 866 we are cats .com was hilarious

     
  4. “nobody” jokes were on point. Two thumbs up.

     
  5. realest new show yet. fuck burton. fuck global warming. #savethesnow and bradshaw is completely batshit insane ridiculous #thedirtyog \m/

     
  6. Dear HCSC, thank you for causing irreversible damage to the snowfield so you could have one more session and make a bunch of money off of the 150 rich kids who wanted to see Scott Stevens. You guys are fucking dicks.

     
  7. Jackson Mane don’t do it! Young white kids look up to you!

     
  8. If I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you a summit – I would buy you a summitAnd if I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsI’d buy you a photo op for your summit – maybe a nice landscape or a waterfrontAnd if I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you a steamboat – a nice old fixer-upperAnd if I had a billion dlolars I’d buy your vote.If I had a billion dlolarsI’d build a gazebo in our yardIf I had a billion dlolarsYou could help, it wouldn’t be that hardIf I had a billion dlolars Maybe we could put like a $200,000 toilet in there somewhere.If I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you a Muskoka lake – but not a real Muskoka lake, that’s cruelAnd if I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d shut down a city – yep, like a Toronto or a HuntsvilleAnd if I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you Lyin’ Bryan’s remains – ooh, all them crazy jowel bonesAnd if I had a billion dlolars I’d buy your vote.If I had a billion dlolarsWe wouldn’t have to walk to the storeIf I had a billion dlolarsWe’d take a limousine ’cause it costs moreIf I had a billion dlolarsWe wouldn’t have to eat Kraft Dinner[Ed note: really, what would you change in that verse? It’s perfect as is.]If I had a billion dlolars – If I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you a sidewalk – but not a real sidewalk going somewhere, that’s cruelAnd if I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you some vid – a Sony or a JumboIf I had a billion dlolars – if I had a billion dlolarsWell, I’d buy you a monkey I have so many monkeys to spareIf I had a billion dlolars I’d buy your vote.If I had a billion dlolars, if I had a billion dlolarsIf I had a billion dlolars, if I had a billion dlolarsIf I had a billion dlolars left, we’d be rich.

     

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