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Echo Mountain To Reopen to the Public for 2015/16

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After three seasons of operating as a private ski race training facility, Echo Mountain will re-open to the public for the 2015/16 season. “We just came to realize there’s only so many people out there who love wearing spandex and banging gates,” said Nora Pykkonen Echo’s current owner. “We figured our business plan was air tight since this is Colorado, America’s ski country after all, but all these damn kids secretly want to be snowboarders and spend their money at other resorts that offer freestyle options.”

Pykkonen continued. “While we’re welcoming all disciplines of snow sliding back to Echo Mountain for this season. We’d prefer it if you showed up in at least a Lexus, as we’re trying to maintain the kind of exclusive, hoity-toity vibe we’ve worked so hard to develop over the past couple seasons as a private training facility. But we’ll take your money either way.”

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Echo has partnered with SNOW Operating, a Boulder-based company, which focuses on what is known as ‘terrain based learning’ to deliver a “family-based and beginner-focused environment.”

“We chose to partner with the Boulder group because as you know, nothing says exclusive and white quite like Boulder. We’re really hoping to create our own little ‘Boulder Bubble’ up here on top of highway 103,” Pykkonen said. “We bought this place in 2012 with the intention of exploiting our own children’s talents in the hopes of making even more money through sponsorships and endorsement deals. When it was obvious our kids had no real chance of doing anything in ski racing beyond looking kooky as shit in their spandex, that’s when we decided we could still maintain exclusivity while opening our doors to the public. Don’t worry, we have spare spandex suits to offer our clients to help them assimilate with the culture we’ve developed here at Echo.”

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Echo Mountain is the Front Range’s closest lift-served terrain and was once home to a great little park and an alternative spot to ride under the lights 40 mins closer to Denver than Keystone. While this story is a work of satire, Echo Mountain is actually reopening to the public this season. For more info visit http://www.echomountainresort.com/

Just another old crusty fuck.
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Comments (12)

  1. Exclusive you say? Then what’s their going rate for french fries and a gatorade? If it’s $10 or less, it’s NOT exclusive.

     
  2. This was awesome. “nothing says exclusive and white quite like Boulder”….amazing.

    I used to ride the park at echo when I lived in CO back in 07-09 that place was fun and super chill.

     
  3. straight from the site “We will NOT have a terrain park this year. We may have a couple features but we do NOT own any features. If individuals or a group want to create a terrain park we are completely open to discussions but do not want individuals buying passes with the expectation of a terrain park in 2015/16.”

     
  4. Just a heads up. This is what I read on the website….. “We will NOT have a terrain park this year. We may have a couple features but we do NOT own any features. If individuals or a group want to create a terrain park we are completely open to discussions but do not want individuals buying passes with the expectation of a terrain park in 2015/16.”

     
  5. If you have ever met Nora you would know that she doesn’t talk like that. She’s a very nice woman and this article displays false character.

     
    • Hahahaha the article says it is satire, and its damn obvious even if the article didn’t say so. Pretty sure even my dog could figure it out.

      And I’m gonna have to disagree with you about Nora being a nice lady. Sure, she might be nice to other pretentious ski racing douche bags. But is she really nice?

      Either way Dan, it looks like you don’t have a reason to go any farther west on I70 than Echo. Tell the rest of the front rangers too.

      Good job Paul, besides newsshow, this the first time I have laughed at yobeat in a while.

       
  6. Dear Paul,
    Please stop telling your rambunctious snowboard buddies about our quiet little mountain. Also, I would prefer you park your shit box subaru far from my new Tesla. Or at least fix that damned exhaust.
    Sincerly,
    Bart Carl

     
  7. Echo wont have a park though and the girl whos family owns it goes to my school is a bitch so dont support her family

     
  8. this was a stupid fucking article. the only relevant part of this whole damn thing was the link at the bottom which actually gave some real information.

     

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