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Rejected Edits

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Despite the potential for ridicule, people continue to send terrible, inappropriate or otherwise asinine edits to Yobeat. And for this edition, long-time Yobeat armchair quarterback Collin Whalen requested the honor of doing the rejecting. The corporate policy at Yobeat is everyone gets a chance to blow it, so if you think Collin’s write ups suck as bad as the videos, you know where to leave your comments. But remember, the other option is KC Kyle…

Off the Clock Ep. 1

Grade: B for Bland

Okay. So first off, this song sucks. What is it, like a six-year-old Black Keys song? Not only that, but this shit is so played out and doesn’t even go well with a snowboard edit. Might work in a car commercial including some weekend warrior taking one, or two at the most turns before it cuts to beach going frat boys jamming out in their new whip that mom and dad bought them. So please consult someone with better music taste next time. Editing is a little rough; just make it transition a bit smoother. Otherwise, I thought it was laid out decently. The dude with the enders was a good choice, but what is with that saggy ass beanie under the helmet? Also the camera beams… Just screams insecure. One more thing; it’s almost February and this looks like October or something. Nobody is going to be excited to watch an edit that is sub-par to the hundreds of pre-season edits that have already come out. Also, harsh ass tap on that bs 180 switch “5-0.” I see you.

BREAK

Grade: C for Cute

Again, shit song for snowboarding. Maybe it’s because you’re all still young and haven’t broadened your musical horizons. Maybe you just don’t look into the music you’re interested in. Anyway, it was cute how your admiration for avant-garde type videos came across, but it didn’t work, sorry. Try doing something more original but in the same realm; just make it your own. Now, 50-50 180s out are only acceptable in two situations. One, the rail or feature is fucking huge. Two, if you actually Ollie out with style, preferably over another obstacle. There were some rad shots in there, but speed it up, get closer with the fisheye, and get a little more aggressive with your zoom. This just needs to get sped up in all areas really. Along with that, this park is extremely miniature, so please get creative with it. It’ll really help.

Woodbury in Lowe Quality

Grade: A- for almost totally awesome

Improving on the music a bit here, but still not quite there. Ramones were cool back in the day, but now with an entire history of punk music, there are so many songs that would be so much better for this. I like the fast-paced riding/editing and a faster/louder song would better suit it. You guys also all destroyed that place. Real solid riding and no bullshit filler. I’m quite the sucker for knee-crunching maneuvers too. Water chug is dope, switching it up from the classic beer chug. Really the two things that would make this feature-worthy would be to cut the day footage and get at least one tranny finder at the end of that red rail. That tranny was just asking for a forceful pumping. Y’all must be virgins.

Going HUGE with a kite and snowboard and blah blah blah…

Grade: Non-applicable due to lack of actual snowboarding

Come on… This is a snowboard website. This video practically requires no skills on a snowboard, considering 90% of the time you were flying by kite. I can guarantee that not one person who frequents this site would ever want to watch this. If they did, they’d go to a fucking kiteboarding website. But wait, actual kiteboarders do tricks while they’re hundreds of feet in the air. You kind of just hung there like a dead pig on a hook, except for that poor attempt at a tailgrab. So I bet you’d get rejected over there as well. Narration unnecessary. Nobody cares about your trip story that consists of nothing exciting. The claiming in the description also makes me second-guess if those sponsors do actually back you; and if they do, then I will be quite disappointed in them. So yeah, this doesn’t belong here. Really doesn’t belong anywhere except maybe to show your family or coworkers over at ClifBar.

WaWa After Dark Season 2: Episode 1

Grade: D for Dweebs

This is a complete disappointment to O.D.B. and the entire 36th Chamber of Shaolin. If O.D.B. saw this when he was alive, he’d most likely quit hip-hop out of embarrassment. You guys really fooled me with that semi-professional looking intro, but jesus christ, get a fucking light that works if you’re going to film at night. I could hardly tell that you guys zeached just about half of your shots. Can’t fool me, even with your accidental filming trickery. That street plant could’ve been cool if you got the grab, but your dweeby little arms couldn’t quite reach the board. That face smash on the rail got me hyped though, but that was really the only highlight of the entire video. Quit zeaching, quit sagging all your slides, get a light, land your tricks, and don’t ramp slomo a front board on a tiny flat bar.

DON’T FALL FOR IT (it’s a trap), teaser 1

Grade: D for Don’t make another teaser, please

Don’t worry guys; I didn’t fall for your trap. I almost did, as that first shot looked like it might be something of worth. Then I was sorely disappointed. Not only by that shot, but the entire so called “teaser.” This didn’t tease me. If anything, you guys just teased yourselves, like in the way a bully teases a nerd; except you were the victim and the bully. I thought it was pretty great how you all ate so much shit on the smallest spots though. Always fun to watch. Why the same fence ride twice though? I know one was frontside and one was backside, but it’s the same damn trick. At least put the two shots back to back real quick. Aside from all the negatives, you were in the streets setting up your own spots, and I can respect that.

Nightlife Vol 1: The Mixtape

Grade: B for Beer fail

Good choice on starting off with the ugly ass homie. Good way to catch peoples’ attention. For the opening line though, it was very meh. Stretched it out too long for how non-exciting it was. Not only that, but in the “make’’ he didn’t Ollie over the pole AND he came off early. Not acceptable here. I would also suggest learning how to skateboard before trying one-footers. Not only will you actually land them, but they will actually look good. I liked this edit for the most part though. Got a soul turn in there with a little Ollie out, a humorous shotgun fuck up, and an anti-climactic ender to keep the viewer questioning what the right way to end an edit is. Just like the WaWa dweebs though, you do need a better light if you’re going to film at night and cig shots are so irrelevant now. It’s 2015 and weed is making its way to ruling the world. So lets see some on hill quad perk bong rips or something. Maybe take the volcano vape bag out for a run. Now that’s smokey.

Sweatpants and Steeze

Grade: F for… well, failure

You failed. I get it; you’re kids having fun away from home with no parents for the first time. We’ve all been there. We get it. Nobody wants to watch this shit though. If I was to go into detail, I could write an entire dissertation on how obnoxious this was, but I can’t get school credit for that so I’m just going to keep it simple and straight. Don’t make any more edits that are anything like this in any way. Just maybe take a step back from the camera all together and just board. You’re young and have lots of free time. Your knees still work and you can board days on end without feeling like you got in a car wreck. So take advantage of it and maybe you’ll get good enough one day to where someone who knows how to film and edit will film you. Good luck and board on.

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Comments (34)

  1. Dan, your dream has been fulfilled you made rejected edits.

     
  2. Santa’s a dick, all I wanted for Christmas was to be rejected.

     
  3. How is Hip-Hop relevant to snowboarding? Privileged white kids sliding across a mountain they paid $90 to ride for one day. Snowboarding needs more Beiber!

     
  4. I thought there were going to be ski edits with G-S turns??? WTF

     
  5. if ANY of these edits had a shitty ass future/kwon song they would have made front page for sure.

     
  6. Most of these were pretty good in comparison to other the rejected edits.

     
  7. Nothings more gangster than being white and living in Whistler. #wethugs #privilegedwhiteboys #momscreditcardthuglife

     
  8. I’m not gangster?!/! Idownload all my music illegaly, and my mom bought me a gat at big 5 for hannukah , thuglife

     
  9. I’m so fucking over this shit. Does originality even exist anymore? or is everyone destined to make the same thoughtless, cookie cutter, 3 minutes of garbage? Because that’s about all i’ve been getting out of snowboarding lately, generic garbage

    …..unless you are getting company money, then it might be half decent, and I mean HALF decent….

     
  10. VHS FOOTAGE IS SO FUCKING PLAYED. MAKE FRIENDS OR DIE PERFECTED IT AND IT SHOULD NOT BE USED ANYMORE

     
  11. to the wawa after dark dweebs: stop trying to make everything having to do with wachusett have some sort of wu-tang reference. it’s dumb as fuck. fuck y’all.

     
  12. I knew I should of used a Bad Brains song

     
  13. Although I didn’t particularly like any of these, a lot of the riding is as good as much of the front page content.These guys just aren’t in cool guy cliques.

     
  14. Reject edits is where you get posted when you don’t know anyone working for yobeat

     
  15. I’ve always wanted to be a quarterback

     
  16. I’m from Mt Hood. Ordinarily I can talk a lot of shit about how bad I feel for this kids because of their shitty their home mountains are. But this year? Dayum, where’d you get all the snow?

     
    • you shuldn’t talk shit about how shitty other peoplz mountains are it’s not their fault they were born there and that htey don’t have the same privelages as you do living so close to such a large mountain that offers so much. don’t be a douche bag.

       
  17. Big ups to the guys who managed to film at Woodbury… Anyone who has ever ridden there knows how ghetto and sketchy that place is…

     
  18. “Good choice on starting off with the ugly ass homie. Good way to catch peoples’ attention.”

    This shit had me geeking heavy

     
  19. stop hating, get laid, drink less shitty beer and smoke more good herb so you can get over these feelings of superioirity. sometimes we talk shit and it discourages kids from trying and then snowboarding shrinks, ski areas have less return on investment and our favorite shops start closing.

    accomodate teh coming generations and get over IT

     
    • Weeding out the weak. If someone really loves boardin, they wouldn’t let the shit talking make them quit or not try. This definitely is not the reason for any of that shit. Go watch some old snowboard videos and see how snowboarders treated each other back then. YOU’RE WEAK!!!!! SNOWBOARDING IS SOFT!!!!!

       
  20. the last edit was worse than a bag of scabby dicks. i hate kids

     
  21. I am Action Bronson’s manager and would like to point out I strongly advised him against appearing in the last video

     

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