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The US Forest Service Backs Alta’s Snowboard Ban

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In a debate that should have ended long ago about skiing vs snowboarding, it’s amazing to see that some people want to keep the segregation alive. Apparently, that includes the US Government. In response to the recent campaign to Free Alta, the US Forest Service has sided with the old skier fucks.

The Forest Service said it agrees with Alta that the way snowboarders slide down the slopes is a legitimate safety concern for skiers. In a filing last week, Alta attorneys explained that skiers find the slopes at Alta more peaceful, safe and enjoyable because they don’t have to worry about being hit by snowboarders whose sideways stance leaves them with a blind spot that can make their wide, sweeping turns a danger to others on the slopes.

“These differences create safety concerns that can be avoided or minimized by not allowing snowboarders,” Forest Service lawyers wrote in the new filing.

Because we’re sure no one would ever get hurt skiing if it wasn’t for those pesky snowboarders.

Via Agnarchy

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  • mashed potato

    Their logic is so deliberately obtuse; it’s embarrassing. Like… someone should get in touch with the forest service’s lawyers and let them know humans are capable of turning their heads.

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  • swoops

    Say Alta finally was forced to allow snowboarders. do we really want to give them our money when we know they are not happy we are there?? F–ck em

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  • upstatemike.

    uhhh, what?

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  • drag_knuckles

    If you want to shred alta, poach alta.

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  • omg lol hashtag

    it’s messed up because the forest service guys are like 55-70 years of age and most likely ski at Alta so of course they will not side with snowboarders….. after the bone zone the forest service wants to cruicify snowboarders one by one.

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    • er0ck

      “the forest service guys are like 55-70 years of age”
      [citation needed]

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      • Chief Keef

        Nahhhhhh

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  • Birdrider

    Get a group of boarders to meet at Snowbird for the Alta closing day… and get 20-30 poachers…. 😉

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  • Anti Corp

    Maybe skiiers should open there eyes and realize if you werent skiing right beside me one im making a “wide sweeping turn” i wouldent hit your bitch ass.

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  • Lurkin

    Maybe they banned snowboarding because of Jesse Pauls gay fucking pants

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  • A skier.

    As a skier, I must agree with y’all in saying how fucked up this is… Like they should cite how many instances of skier/snowboarder collisions occur anywhere, and what percentage result in injuries… As someone who rides the bird, which is nearly the exact same terrain, you can clearly see that the allowance of both is safe. Like the old “walk a mile in someone’s shoes” type shit, they are speaking from a completely alienated, misunderstood viewpoint.
    Granted, there are idiot snowboarders. There are also arguably just as many asshole skiers who do not watch where the fuck they are going and cause accidents. It simply is a matter of prejudice and ignorance on behalf of Alta and the majority of old fucks in their $1000 patagonia get ups. Maybe in 20 years from now when all of these people are dead we can coexist. Sorry boys.
    -DM

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    • LU

      GET OFF OUR SITE

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  • http://flawsyfiles.blogspot.com a

    Like they’re going to tear up Alta’s checks? They’ve been cashing them happily this whole time.

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  • Hubert Cumberdale

    That NSAA is a great hyperlink, Yobeat…

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  • Miggs

    How do you get to Chad’s Gap from the bottom of Alta?

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    • ASSPISS

      ski patrol blew it up

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      • Tanner Hall

        Shaun White broke both ankles on it so ski patrol closed it.

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        • Donny Brook

          Shaun White is a fag

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    • TROOF

      A NATURAL PRODUCT OF THE WINDY STORMS CAN NOT BE CONTAINED. GRIZZLY GULCH IS ONE OF THE FIRST MAJOR KICKER ZONES IN UTAH. THERE ALWAYS HAS BEEN, AND THERE ALWAYS WILL BE KICKERSPOTS TO BE SESSIONED EVERYWHERE UP THERE…. OH SO MANY HITS THAT ARE THAT CLOSE TO A WELL MAINTAINED RESORT ROAD, IF YOU DON’T MIND GETTING YOUR 20 MINUTE HIKE ON….

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  • TROOF

    !FREE ALTA FROM THE EMBARASSING PERILS OF LEGALLY IMMORAL IGNORANCE!

    “BLIND SPOTS IN A SNOWBOARDER’S TURN”?????? …. HONKEYS….HOW ABOUT YOU NERDS FOLLOW ME DOWN ANY MOUNTAIN FACE OF YOUR CHOOSING AT ALTA AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK AT THE BOTTOM….. PLEASE ATTEMPT TO NEGATIVELY CRITIQUE MY PERFECTLY LAID OUT TURNS AND MY FLAWLESS DRAWN CARVES WHILE YOU FOLLOW BEHIND YAPPING AWAY WITH YOUR NEON SKI POLES TAKING PROPER STYLE NOTES FROM A TRUE SHREDDER OF THE HIGHEST REGARD..

    AFTERWARDS I WILL BY YOU A 3.2% BEER AND LAUGH AT YOUR OBVIOUS EXPRESSIONS OF DISBELIEF.

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  • ShroomyDudester

    I have to say that I could really care less that Alta is maintaining their ban on snowboarders. There are so many ski resorts/mountains in that area. If they don’t want our business, let’s not give it to them. I think if it were the only gig in town, things might be different. Is it wrong for them to ban snowboarders? Certainly, but they have made that their thing. Let them keep the rivalry alive, while we snowboarders come out the other end as the bigger more respectful party.

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  • TROOF

    SOLUTION #1: FREE ALTA SEASON’S PASSES FOR ALL SNOWBOARDERS WHO DON’T HAVE BLIND SPOTS DURING THEIR TURNS!!!!

    SOLUTION #2: BAN ALTA SKIERS FROM RIDING AT BRIGHTON!

    SOLUTION #3: CREATE A NEW RESORT FOR SNOWBOARDERS ONLY IN PATSY MARLEY CANYON ALL THE WAY DOWN TO GRIZZLY GULCH!!!

    SOLUTION #4: CHALLENGE THE U.S. FOREST SERVICE RULING IN THE U.S. SUPREME COURT AND PROVE THAT SNOWBOARDERS HAVE NO MORE ‘BLIND SPOTS’ THAN ANY SKIER HAS WHILE TURNING THEIR SPORTS EQUIPMENT SIDE TO SIDE. IF ANYTHING IT IS THE SKIERS THAT HAVE THE BLIND SPOTS!!!

    SOLUTION #5: LET IT BE, LET IT BE, LET IT BE, YEAH, LET IT BE.

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  • Shredgolf

    Ahhhh Alta still trying to hide the opium and marijuana fields your wealthy financial skiers cropped thirty years ago!

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  • snowboarddirtbag

    I guess all the forest service guys are skiers.

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  • live2board

    Not to point out the obvious but the poster says he can’t believe people are “keeping the segregation alive” then says “sided with the old ski fucks” So who’s keeping the segregation alive? Sorry but punk boarders ruin it for the rest of us. boarders with no humility (or ability) and zero respect give decent boarders a bad name. If you’re a rich white boy with authority issues because you’re mad at your daddy, work it out in therapy instead of taking it out on the general skiing/boarding public.

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