Ahh, a new season and a new batch of pre-season tube edits. What could be better? Perhaps a wizzing riot of space dicks, thrusting in infinite directions? Yep, that sounds way more entertaining than tube edits. Now, sit there and prepare yourself for my barrage of degrading talk. Thanks.
The UNDEF (mini teaser):
I’m not sure what the point of this was.. but the music was pretty on-point. Although I heard a song the other day that might be a bit more appropriate for an edit such as this. I think it was called pumped up with the kicks. Have you heard of it? It’s pretty new! My friend’s older brother showed me it so maybe you haven’t heard of it yet, he’s a pretty cool guy, I saw him smoke a cigarette once.
In mother Russia, rail zeach you!
This reminds me of something that happened to me this morning. I woke up, poured myself a bowl of cereal, and before I could finish it, I had to take a furious diarrhea. By the time I got back from taking a desperate dook, I discovered that my cereal had been in the milk for too long. It was too soggy to eat. Just like this edit.
Not all hope is lost though! I liked your spot selection. Those ledges were pretty neat.
P.S. shout-out to the dick drawn in the snow. I see you.
Dirty South Productions #5 — Patrick Rauter Season Recap 2012/13
This edit makes me think you got lost in a McDonald’s playplace back in 2003 and decided to make an edit the second you wiggled your way out of the ball pit. (which always seem to smell like poop for some reason) You kind of have JP walker hands too! Stop repeating tricks and use better music next time!
Berries Jam Teaser
What did I just watch? I think that just made me gay. Hold on a sec.. Yep, I watched it again and it un-gayed me. Apparently this edit also functions as a sort of sexual orientation swapping death ray. Beware of it’s mighty power.
There were a few cool maneuvers in this edit, maneuvers that didn’t suck. However, I currently feel a bit groggy because this edit is also a functioning sleep-aid. Seriously, the music is really relaxing and the pretty shots of mt. Hood could quell the fiercest of beasts. Make it shorter.. Much shorter. The we will talk.
Keystone Shred Times
I seriously don’t understand why people like Colorado so much. It’s like when you get a box of popsicles with a bunch of different flavors in it and the flavor that you like least is Colorado. Sure, I bet if you didn’t have any popsicles and someone offered you a Colorado flavored popsicle you’d be pretty hyped on it due to the fact that you don’t have any other choices, but you should know that Utah and California flavored popsicles are way fucking better. What’s that? Oh yeah, I’m supposed to talk about the edit. I didn’t like it. Sorry boys.
KFC job application
I like where your heart was at on this one. Boobs, booze, and boardin’? You know I’m down! Unfortunately it was a tube edit which disqualifies you from being featured on the site because that shit sucks. Stay gutter my friends.
Mystic Magic 12-13
What an unfortunate little terrain park. I’m sorry you guys have so little to work with. I don’t know what to tell you man. I guess.. get more creative? Yeah, getting weird on small stuff makes for an entertaining edit! I want to see something surprising. Something that is refreshing, and inspiring. I want something that makes me want to get out and ride, you feel me?
Jersey Girls Pre Season Quickie
And here, dear reader, we have a good ol’ fashioned “babes eating shit” edit. To anyone who has seen Lauren’s instagram, you know that she has quite an awesome physique. It’s as if it were chisled from freckly pepper jack cheese by Jesus Christ himself. It’s about time that she put those greasy buns on ice and I gotta say Jordan and I are loving it. I want to see that 270 go down. Why’d you go and give up on that? Believe in yourself child. You girls aren’t shitty. Keep working on it, yo.