- Yobeat Apparel
- Resort Guide
- Not Snowboarding Podcast
The Toeside Terrors slipped into a horrible depression and thus, their physical appearances slipped significantly. Terry became too fat to tweak, Tech's rhymes became whack and heavily influenced by g-rated themes. Mr. anonymous developed a serious affliction for Dimethyltryptamine (DMT) and Weekend Warrior was a raging alcoholic…So he was pretty much the same as before.
Nestled deep in their ice cave, the public had forgotten about these once
Great mediocre heroes. It truly seemed no one needed them.
But alas, some places are so inductive to evil that the inevitability of a rescue from snowboard super heroes would surely allow the Terrors to resurface. By "a place inductive to breeding evil," I of course, am speaking about Colorado.
In a psychedelic DMT trip, MR. Anonymous accidentally kicked the large TV screen in the room that they usually used to spy on girl's bathrooms. the TV showed a News Station in Colorado. "That's correct," the TV shouted, "As it Stands, Colorado stands to make snow days illegal, and it's all thank to one curmudgeon whom simply goes by "Reality101. Further Developments are that he will insure that all resorts are closed on Thanksgiving, in hopes that America will get "better core family values"
GASP! It was a new villain, a man with a right wing-ed political agenda that aimed to disassemble snowboarding as we know it! This man was so republican he could be provoked by one simply looking left before crossing the street. In an interview on the news program, Reality101 spoke rhetoric of snow days wasting tax dollars and the economic inefficiencies of stomp pads. He also added that skiing was totally OK, it was snowboarding that was the problem
The Toeside terrors couldn't let this stand. No Snow days? Economic effecenies of what now? NO RIDING ON THANKSGIVING? The Toeside Terrors were jostled from their depressive metaphorical K-hole and whipped themselves back into shape. (exept Weekend Warrior of course, who as I stated earlier, remained exactly the same)
After a montage that I care not try and draw, the Terrors were fit and fired up.
They piled into the bean bus (the one powered by farts) and headed for Colorado. When they got into Summit County, they instantly found a crowd surrounding one man giving a speech about endings snow days. Were these people Brainwashed?
Mr. Anonymous, still feeling some residual effects from the DMT, ran as fast as he could and hit Reality 101 with a round house kick to his face. HOLY SHIT! in true Men in Black style, a door to reality 101's face opened and Dick Cheney was indeed working the controls inside. Ruining snowboarding was just his first step in making the nation a right wing safe haven.
Terry grabbed the microphone and yelled "we're back everyone!" but the crowd stared blankly at the costumed crusaders.
"Wait, who the fuck are you guys? Freaks! Shut up! Remember Tim Tebo?" the crowd mumbled. Either way they lost steam against snow days and all wandered back to their homes.
"whatever, fuck you guys too!" said Terry, and they left Colorado, never to return.
THANKS TO THE TOESIDE TERRORS, RIDING ON THANKSGIVING DAY WAS SAVED.