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Stan’s Solutions: What is a Kink?

ED: As you may know, Stan likes the weed. And one of the side effects of weed is spending too much time thinking about silly things, and ultimately coming up with ideas that make no sense to a sober person. So please take that into consideration while reading his latest revelation. That is all.

Am I good at hitting rails? Absolutley-fucking-not. The truth of this often burns, but I take solice in at least knowing when people say stupid shit in reference to them. Allow me to clarify once and for all, how to decide how many kinks a rail has. To make this really easy for you guys, lets look at some examples.

Example 1: This is Ethan Diess Shredding at Trollhaugen this past winter. How many kinks does the rail have?

Screen Shot 2013-07-18 at 1.41.55 PM

If you said 4, I’d say you are a fucking wrong. Flat-down does not count. I am basing this statement off the following scenario: Picture yourself rolling up to a flat-down rail with a filmer. You would not say to him, “Yo lets film this kink rail.” Why? because in your heart you know that would be a pussy thing to say. Now if you rolled up on a down flat, I think you would be much more likely to call it a Kink rail, it just seems more appropriate. But after a single kink, the lines start to blur. Is a Flat-down-flat-down a double or a Triple kink?

Diessattrollkink

Example 2: This is a rail that has been featured in all of the Windells edits this summer, there seems to be some debate about this rail as well:

doublekinkwithcomments

@Kink, we will let this one slide because you commented before this post. @Justin’s Bong, you can’t be tainting my name with this shit, man. Six kinks? For real? Did you go to school, or?  To be fair, Bong of mine (which I don’t use. Spliff lyfe, baby) This is what a six-kink looks like.

Screen Shot 2013-07-18 at 2.23.35 PM

Cyril Captures Jamie Nicholls on a true six-kink.

Digging Deeper: The Donkey Dick Donkey dick’s don’t count as kinks, they are their own entity and should be discussed separately. Certainly, I am not doing this to be mean, but no one is going to take you seriously if you let bullshit like this fall out yo’ lips, nameen? I’m just looking out for you guys. You can thank me however you feel necessary.

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  • matt

    truth. but im high so…..

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  • wat

    what about a dubble-kink

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  • http://agnarchy.com David Z

    All truth.

    Good catch on the Donkey Dick exception that isn’t an exception, too.

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  • TurboJack

    What is a fucking wrong?

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  • Rules

    Fuck em’

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  • #420NO

    Guys please stop taking pot. My friend’s cousin was going to be a professional snowboarder but then he overdosed on pot and died tragically from a heart attack. It can kill you, it has before and will again. Even if it doesn’t kill you, it will make you lazy and unmotivated. Studies show that 46% of those who do pot regularly are below the poverty line. Remember to #420NO – keep your lungs clear, the air clean, and your brain above the influence as you enjoy the mountains. Thanks YoBeat – you rule.

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  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBw6XUS3UCs Keith Duck

    So flat-down-flat-down’s are still lame?

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  • T-Diggy

    once someone hops on the trollhaugen kink rail for a regular 50-50, you hear their board hit the rail 4 times (not including the ollie on). so therefore, they are hitting 4 separate abnormalities in the rail that causes them to come off of the previous section for a split second and sends them into the next angle. but now all of you incompetent fucks are going to disagree with me and start an argument.

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    • Yes^

      Rightest comment on here.

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  • Timwindells’ballsack

    Finally someone says this right!

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  • Merriam-Webster

    KINK
    1: a short tight twist or curl caused by a doubling or winding of something upon itself

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  • Know Your Kink

    So Stan may be stoney, but we know he isn’t getting laid by an S&M freak because the boy doesn’t know kink.

    A kink rail takes you in a new direction at each kink. Not just up or down, but at a new angle too. Watching this earlier YoBeat joint (pun Stan… get it?) you can see at :40 that the kink’s not only take the rider vertically different, but a new horizontal direction as well.

    http://yobeat.com/2013/02/15/bet-you-cant-trollhaugen

    So book a flight to Vegas Stan, put on your big boy pants, get a professional girl, and learn what kink is before that ganja makes you as impotent as you are wrong…

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  • http://Sagaouterwear.com Jerm

    No. Long before any park had 4 kink rails people were still referring to down flat downs as double kinks. Feel free to call a 4 kink a double kink rail, but just know you are an idiot and people will be confused. Theres no confusion when you tell someone you hit a quad kink rail.

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  • Sorry Jerm

    A dfd will and has always been referred to simply as a kink rail.

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  • completely arbitrary

    i actually think we should negate the first kink and only count the second kink…

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  • Tdittys right

    Everyone who rides at troll calls it the quad so it is most definitely not a double kink. #tck

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  • Tdittys right

    Everyone who rides at troll calls it the quad so it is most definitely not a double kink.
    #tck

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  • I DISAGREE

    so according to this, you are referring to a flat down flat, a down flat down, and a down flat all as the same thing. which is stupid.

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  • KC KYLE

    Your allfuckig idiots just use D for down parts of the rail and F for flat parts. DFD-down flat down. Ya clown. I poop brown.

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  • https://www.facebook.com/pages/Resurrect-Dead/390591927675765?fref=ts Jimbo

    My $.02 – I think it’s stupid to call anything a “kink” rail is stupid… “double kink?” Okay that’s starting to be acceptable, once you get into high numbers it’s a little absurd to be saying “Yo, I hit that down-flat-down-flat-down-flat-down rail” – but if you’re too lazy to say “down-flat-down” or any other variations with only three changes I have no hope for you.

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  • https://www.facebook.com/pages/Resurrect-Dead/390591927675765?fref=ts Jimbo

    pardon my redundancy with the word “stupid” there – I’m hung over

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  • wtf

    can somebody kick #420NO ^^^ in the mouth?!

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  • Ask JP Walker

    I think you did a great job explaining your point and it makes sense.

    However, how could you overlook the legends who first hit these rails? They named tricks and they named the rails because they did them first. If you were old like me, you would remember these dudes and that they called down flat downs: double kinks. This occured in full length snow vids, before youtube and vimeo. Are you proposing that we change this? That is fine (I may even take your side), but you should make it known that you are trying to change what we call these rails, not act like your opinion is current fact, because it is not. If JP, Jeremy, Mikey and the boys agree with you, then it’s fact. Until then, get their side of the story. It would make for an interesting article.

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  • justin’s nanook sweatshirt

    where did you leave me stan?

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  • Money

    I overdosed on pot, and ate myself to death:(

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  • https://www.facebook.com/pages/Resurrect-Dead/390591927675765?fref=ts Jimbo

    unfortunately for JP walker over here… nobody gives a shit what old snowboarders are calling this because, much like any other rail activity in snowboarding, we stole the nomenclature from skateboarders… maybe we should be asking PRod if we want a vintage opinion

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  • Big Cat

    WRONG! Think about building a rail, not even for snowboarding, just in general. Everytime the rail bends and/or changes angles with a weld it is a kink. A flat-down (gay or not) is a kink – if you need your friends to think you’re badass and don’t call it a kink than fine, it doesn’t mean it’s not, just means you’re too embarrassed to admit it. A down-flat-down is a double kink, the rail bends twice – it has two welds – therefor two kinks – any other explanation is snowboarders once again trying to complicate things to seem cooler.

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  • yo

    if a rail has 2 kinks after the initial down, it is a double, if it is 3 then it is a triple and so on, thnaks everyone

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  • http://www.poop.com yo

    2 flat sections*

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  • Drew

    Perfect yobeat article.

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  • Nobody

    People have argued this since the dawn of time and always will. Get off of the internet, stop counting, just strap up and hit the damn things.

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  • Justin’s bong

    Alright I admit it. I blew it in the 6 kink thing. But at least I can 3 a side roller Justin #burn

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  • lurkin

    fuck off stan

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  • To be frank

    My goat is going to be so upset when he finds out that his dick isn’t kinky enough for Justin Leveille :(

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  • T.J.

    I have always ben told to only count the down flats as kinks, but I have herd it both ways so i never new what the correct way is. it kind of gets annoying after ten years of riding, i mean the small rails are easy ( d-f-d ) or ( d-f-d-f-d ) (d= down f= flat) but wen it comes to big stuff it gets annoying. fore example in my home town their is a rail that is about 200ft long and it has 10 kinks or 20 kinks depending on your stance on the issue and i have always wanted to just spend a day seeing how far i can go on it. but i don’t know how to describe it to my friends
    witch kind of bugs me. i think both are right, but i think we all need to come to a conclusion on what to call it so i can properly talk about my rail in a way that everyone will understand.

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  • T.J.

    on second thought who gives a shit lets just FUCKING SNOWBOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  • Justin’s bong

    Alright I admit it I blew it on the 6 kink think. But at least I can 3 a roller Justin #burn

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  • KC KYLE

    @ JP WALKER

    You aren’t even JP walker all that you just said is 100% false

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  • Obviously

    whoever wrote this article is useless.

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  • That Guy

    I never call a down – flat rail a kink! A kink is a Down – Flat – Down or DFD. The Windells/Troll rail is a DFDFD. The rail that Jamie Nicholls is a DFD-F-DFD-F-DFDFD. I prefer my system hahaha

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  • isthattrevorb

    Well put Big Cat

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  • wessel

    what if it’s a really gnarly flat-down?

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  • Larry Hoover

    a kink is something that changes the direction of the rail, down or flat.

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  • Robbo

    where is the poll?

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  • nwnick

    pow>kink

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  • http://www.urbangrower.com remos

    stan you cant even hit a single kink, if those still exist according to you….

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  • Train

    Quad Kink: It changes directions 4 times

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  • Justins Spliff

    LOL you guys are fucking gay to take the time to make a post about this. Let the kids call it whatever they call it. Just snowboard and quit tryna make rules.

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  • Chuck Norris

    On point! 👌👌👌

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  • Doug Fagel

    who cares!!! A kink is a change in direction of a rail, but the fact that you made a whole article about it is stupid. Especially when stating your opinion and saying other peoples differing opinion is wrong. I love yobeat but this article was wack.

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  • anothercanadian

    rails kink?

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  • not the real riff raff

    why cant kids from Minnesota learn how to count kinks.. why why why. all your parents are ashamed of you.

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    • Smh

      This is in Wisconsin dumbass.

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  • cheesel

    get the fuck off the internet and go outside!

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  • fugyomomma

    i once had 3 marijuanas and lost all my shit.

    never again.

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  • _mattkrei

    A kink happens when a rail is going down and then goes flat but what if a down flat down had an elbow does that also count as a kinks because there is a change in direction?

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  • phil nolson

    so what is a donky dick

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  • my dog Bear

    A down flat down is called a kink rail. Why? show me one kid who can do a down flat bar, but not a down flat down.( I dont actually care if you know someone, but I know what to expect) that transition from down to flat is the only challenging part of a down flat down, the rest just matters whether or not you rode through the “first kink” smooth enough to slide off of the flat and onto the down. everyone who already googled what a kink is can prove there are 2 kinks in a down flat down, that doesn’t mean it has to be called a double kink, that sounds greedy as shit. What ever happened to no rules in snowboarding? That’s my opinion and non uf yaz can change it. oh and Smoke Pot

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  • ill a noiz

    i found the solution to all this!!!! man up… ride pow son.

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  • upstatemike.

    everybody calm the fuck down. this same debate happened 15 years ago when rollerbladers were hitting 25 kink rails and making your 3 kink rail look wuss.

    Stan has it right. You judge it by how many flat sections there are. a “kink” is a full down-flat-down. this goes across every “sport” that slides fucking rails.

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  • upstatemike.

    @ASK JP WALKER:

    He didn’t name that shit, nor was he the first. fruitbooters were calling rails “double kinks” and whatever sort of kink combination before ol’ Dogface ever threw on a bubble vest and nosepressed his way to fame.

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  • Grynch Mobb

    so your saying a battleship rail has no kinks in it at all? so what are they then? bends?

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