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- Resort Guide
There are a number of really long edits this time around and that has me seriously butt hurt. Does no one take my advice? I feel like most of what I have to say is basically just “make your edit way shorter”. No one ever listens to me. I feel so alone! You see this?! You people are turning me into an emo kid. This isn’t a phase either, I’ve found the true me! YOU’RE NOT MY DAD UNCLE DAD.
Woo! Let’s start this off with a 2-for-1! That first double grab was pretty cool but it kind of went straight down hill from there. I’ll give you a bit of credit on this because I know how hard dry slope riding can be. However, it kind of seemed like you weren’t even trying to be in control at all! Also, I saw a shit load of tindy’s, tailfishes, and other “no-no grabs”. I believe the rule is 10 pushups or sit-ups per no-no grab, so I would hope you keep it g-code and that your beach body is rockin’ off the chain right now. Also, your taste in music kind of really sucks, but then again, I have been running songs from “Dance Dance Revolution” on repeat lately, so who am I to talk? The most confusing thing about dry slope edits, to me, is the fact that I have yet to see one titled “Carpet Munchers”.
SUNSHINE VILLAGE NIGHTSHOOT
This one is pretty overproduced. I feel like whoever edited doesn’t really watch snowboarding edits. Then again, I feel like that is the case with pretty much everyone involved with rejected edits. I was hard pressed to find tricks in this edit that my father would be unable to do. You guys should ride with him! That dude rips.
This is pretty damn good! It’s cool to see young guns ripping at Cannonsburg, but like I said, they’re young and they need to work on a few things. For one, I saw a pretty good amount of soggy boardslides and zeaches that could have either been omitted or redone. The camerawork could have been a bit better too. Think about what you’re filming when you set up! You should try to include or emphasize whatever is of interest in your shot. For example, on that stair set you probably could have picked an angle that showed the added consequence of stairs or, on those tranny finders, try to include the transition that the rider lands in, as well as the gap that they jumped over. For the riders, I would say step it up just a little bit more. It seemed like everyone was just barely making the jump.. what was up with that? If you can’t get speed for that feature do something else! Or better yet, hit the bottom jump! You know! The big one! For your next edit I want to see you guys hitting bigger rails and jumps and doing more creative lines! Keep at it fellas, I definitely wouldn’t mind seeing more from you in the future as long as you’re stepping it up!
UO SNOW: EARLY SEASON
Woah! Skiers in a snowboarding edit?! That’s kind of a big no-no! So, probably 86 that shit. The editing wasn’t bad.. the song.. was pleasant. The riding? Could have definitely been better. I got the vibe that this was just a bunch of park laps that you guys filmed real quick. If you want them hammers then it would be quite beneficial to man up and hike. By the way that zeach through the kink at the beginning was fucking jumanji.
WHERE’D YA FIND THIS? VOL. 2
Yes! This song is fucking rad. I like the editing style a lot as well, but the riding had me less than stoked. As I mentioned before, you should take the time to hike features that you want to get shots on and get that shit crisp. Think of it like your dick. You probably don’t want to show the world your flaccid, soggy, unkempt pecker. So take some time and make sure you look good out there. Make it perfect.. make it.. bonerific. By the way, that double weekend warrior flip was pretty damn crazy. Shout out to that guy.
Side note: Don’t fucking send me dick pics as a response to this or else I’ll pee on your carpet.
You forgot the most important part about doing an edit.. actually editing it! I feel like less than half of this edit is actual snowboarding. Oh and that skier.. why? For the love of god.. why?
LTKPRK: SNOWSHOW 9: “RICK HOLLIES”
This edit literally took me 2 weeks to watch. I got this batch of edits 2 weeks ago and got as far as this edit then just straight up quit. Then every few days after I would try to watch this again and every time I found something better to do at about a minute in. The first time I just went skating, the second time I figured I should go eat candy in another room, the third try.. I’m not going to lie.. I just stopped and realized that I could spend that time jerking off. This fourth time I made it to about 7 minutes in and figured that was enough. I guess what I’m trying to say is this is clearly way too damn long. There wasn’t really anything exciting going on at all. Oh, and I’m still looking for a “Penis Ramp Kids” edit. Once again, don’t send me dick pics or I will rub poop in your driveway.
NOT SO ON TOP OF THE HOOD
Holy fucking shit, another 8 minute long edit. This one was a bit easier to watch than the one before this. Not that much easier though.. What the hell was up with those brief intervals that didn’t have any video? It’s like there wasn’t enough shots of you guys just riding down the hill and you were trying to add more down time. This edit could have been about a minute long and it might have been somewhat interesting of a rejected edit.. keep it short and simple, like a proper punk rock song. GG Allin had it figured out. Short, sweet, to the point. Pure entertainment, no bullshit.
SPENCER LLOYD AND TYLER BLACKBURN HEAD SOUTH
I’m not sure why I hate Northstar edits so much. I think it’s because they usually feature wannabe Horgbros. Does DC sell hoodies without sleeves or is there just an entire army of ill-advised kids buying hoodies just to cut them up? That sounds kind of culty to me and is probably a group of people just confused and angry enough to do some real physical damage to me and my loved ones. So I’ll probably just leave this subject alone for now. As far as constructive criticism goes.. uh.. I guess.. just do something more ridiculous. For the love of god, somebody drop a hammer!
SPRING BREAK AT BEAR 2013
Isn’t this the homie who says we never post his stuff? I feel like I’ve seen pizza and spliffs on rejected edits like three or so times already. I know because I always give a shout out to Sean Kennedy and da homie Bret Guild. I think I give the same advice every time and it’s the same advice I give pretty much any half-way decent rejected edit. It should have been shorter. Work on your shot selection. A lot of those shots weren’t really that interesting and I think if you just focused on having all the homies getting a handful of really awesome shots instead of a thousand mediocre ones as you lap the park all day then you would have both a better edit and a better vacation.
GETTING’ BY AT SUNBURST PARKS:
This was actually filmed pretty dang well. The song choice was kind of strange but whatever. What’s up with these dudes riding in safety vests? Is that some kind of Jesse Paul Shout out? You’re not Jesse Paul. Take off your vest sir! Step up your game and maybe check out some past rejected edits and maybe you’ll have a bit better luck next time.