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This week’s rejected edits ended up having a lot more sexual innuendo than I had originally expected. Also there are hot boys making bad decisions.. just watch..
1 Day, 1 Rail – Stuart Innes – Snowboarding
I’m not entirely sure what to say about this edit. I feel bad wanting to poke fun at it. It’s kind of like when you see a really old person eating alone somewhere and you feel super sad about how lonely they look. That is what led me to believe that this was about to become one of those harlem shake videos. I took a look at what was going on in this edit and realized, its one person, doing something of little interest, in a wide-open areaaaaaaaohshit! I’m about to get harlem shook on! Unfortunately this was not the case. There were no bootys a-droppin’, no peckers a-poppin’, and no cats a-floppin’. Step your game up next time man! Also, no one wants to watch you fix your lip. Do you want to watch you fix your lip? Didn’t think so. Lets get some big booty hoes up in hur.
YETI FAMILY EP. 1
Sexy euro sparkle party! Those graphics are really nice but EWWWWW you probably used the metric system to make them aw dude so gross dude. This edit is actually pretty well produced, the color scheme was kind of creepy and it went with the song which was cool. The pacing was pretty good, the shots didn’t take too long. Also the effects are pretty tasteful and aren’t overwhelming or cheesy like in most rejected edits. It wasn’t particularly boring but it wasn’t particularly interesting either. We’ll put this in shred purgatory because it didn’t give me a full-on shred boner.
STASH — MAKER SUNDAE #2:
Stash-Maker Sundae? What does that even mean? It sounds like some kind of freaky sex move involving dairy products, and for the record, I’m into it. What I’m not into is how far away the filmer was from the rider in almost every shot, that’s that shit I don’t like. Re-using songs from 32 edits, that’s that shit I don’t like. If you don’t refer to that kid with the loud-ass jacket as “skittlez” then I’m going to be really upset with you. Taste the rainbow lookin’ boy.
SNAKE TUBE EPISODE 1
The skating in this is pretty fucking hype. Your party shots are pretty dumb though and I don’t fully understand the point of most of them, like the one where its a bunch of people all sitting on each other on a couch.. chix r gay dude! Also, that shot of the bottle of ciroc.. why did you instant replay that? Don’t tell me that its because of the guy picking his nose in the background ’cause I do that shit all the time. That’s not very hijinx man! I like your vimeo name though, shoutout to pizza! You should have put shots of pizza in this edit. Pizza is 4 eva.
RAINY NASHOBA LAPS
The song you used through me off for a sec. I thought this was about to be a funky moist-ass porno. It was a pretty funky moist-ass edit though! That place looks really fun. The riding doesn’t suck! It could use a few more hammers though. Also, work on your camera angles a bit. Get closer and think about where you’re filming from, don’t be afraid to unstrap and get all up in the action. Get ‘er from all kinds of angles in front, behind, side to side, or even invite your friends and give ‘er a good ol’ fashioned mÃ©nage Ã trois angle. Okay, I’ll stop now.
WINTER BREAK AT CANNONSBURG
Aw shit! These are the drip squad homies! I feel like this edit was just you guys casually riding the park though. I know you guys can do some real fucked up shit and I just didn’t see it here. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some good stuff in here but I have actually watched you guys ride and I know you can make a really really good edit. Just get someone to film it better. What the hell was that song by the way? Yer drunk.
I feel the best way to describe the amount of zeaches in this edit is “radioactive”. You guys burnt my eyebrows off with the excessive zeachiness. Now I have to pencil that shit in, great. It’s cool that you got Torstein Horgmo to be in your edit. shout out to that homie! Oh, and that first shot of that kid ripping his binding off was pretty rad. I like that.
SIERRA SHREDDING 2013
Holy slo-mo! There are some really buck-ass jump shots in this but not all of them have to be in such slow motion. At one point, I fell asleep during a jump shot and when I woke up homeboy was just getting ready to land. Oh, I had to mute the song too as it somehow managed to make me very angry. Didn’t park city do something like this at one point? I recall a shot of Spencer Schubert hitting an A-frame with his ass out and someone else firing off a snot rocket.. I feel like that’s the kind of shit that people should be doing with high speed cameras. I want to see high speed party footy. That seems important.
DANNIN ECCLES A DAY AT BRECK
God, I hate Breck edits so much please stop it. They’re almost always filmed with go pros from way too far away. The rail riding is always depressing. Like, so sad that I need to call my mom and have her cheer me up. Those poor rails.. they get zeached on so much. I want to see someone do a breck edit with good rail riding and no jump shots. That would be some ground breaking shit. I think Ethan Deiss may have done something like that a few years ago.