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A Quickie with Desiree Melancon



It’s  Mr. Hammid hoof banging some sort of titted-dog-deer thing.

Recently, Desiree Melancon won a Yobeat Award. Even more recently she won some other award. That means she’s due for a bunch of coverage. And, because we are super quick around here, we grabbed her attention and asked her questions that have nothing to do with snowboarding, but will probably give plenty of our younger readers boners. So, enjoy this look into Desiree’s life outside of snowboarding.

Yobeat: Which is cooler, a yobeat award or an award from anyone else?

Desiree: Both, I don’t wanna talk about awards.

How’s your blossoming art career going?

Good! July 5th is my first show! Bend, Oregon. At Velvet. Be ready for a night of porn.

Is it going to be any good?

Yes I think so. Everyone loves asses and titties.


Hard at work inside the artist’s studio.

What’s with all the porn? Are you pent up or just a nasty gal?

Both for sure. It’s not boring to me. So I can spend weeks on a piece and I continually get more excited about it.

What’s your favorite kind of porn?

Lesbian for sure.


Desiree should probably design the next Yobeat shirt. Don’t you guys agree?

How come?

It’s interesting. They don’t have a penis so they stick anything and everything in them selves and it’s hilarious. Plus chicks are hotter.

That’s a great way to end this. Bye Desiree.

Every word in this post-even those based on real people-are entirely fictional. The quotes might be bullshit too.
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  • JP Walker

    My mom walked in while I was looking at this.

  • boneyballsack

    first painting should be the t-shirt design

  • http://fuckyou BIGMANDINGO


  • Woody

    Making porn paintings. (You basic).

  • pre-pubescient boy

    read this in class and jizz’d in my pants.

  • bestvirginia

    Flick The Bean

  • mooncrew

    Click The Mouse

  • Lukas

    My mouse scrolled in while I was flicking this

  • She is so hot in person

    Saw her at Baker today. If I had read this first I think I would have caked the shorts upon pro sighting.
    Still got busted for staring even with the mirror lens. She is tall with legs to the heavens. Please do a Maxim spread.

  • desiree

    Is she les/bi? Always gotta wonder with female pro snowboarders.


    These are gross and she actually sucks at drawing. Everyone who like this is R-tardmax

  • flick the bean

    Desiree needs a good a flickin

  • MattyT

    marry me

  • harsh

    This is the Cory Smith formula. Marginal art skills + controversial topics = attention.

  • Debaser

    yobeat needs less snowboarding and more of this

  • Big E

    even Vincent Van Gogh popped wood

  • ‘merica

    Pretty good art actually. First one is hilarious, the second is clearly unfinished, and the third is pretty good. If you guys are all wondering if she’s lez/bi, whatever and perving out on her then she’s probably doing a good job with the whole art venture. Snowboarders aren’t the most difficult market to figure out.

  • makefriendsordie

    i’m down

  • yo

    she should ride with lick the cat…

  • OhioPassion

    keepin that dick right

  • ralph

    That first one is borderline disturbing…but can’t…look away…

  • Dan

    That long haired deer thing in the first is literaly a portrait of Brandon Hammid

  • Desiree’s Vagina
  • upstatemike.


  • OhioPassion

    i wish there was some butthole on that second pic

  • Benny Milam’s Mom