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The SIA Party Story

For years I have heard tales of the debauchery associated with SIA. After experiencing it first hand, I will say that no story prepared me for the level of partying that ensued this weekend. Heading to Colorado with a list of ten things I had to do, I was one part scared, two parts stoked about my first SIA. I’ll disclaim now that I did not get everything on THIS LIST. But I got most of them, and added my own flare. Equipped with just an iphone and a little over one hundred bucks, i embarked on the journey. Let’s begin, shall we?

WEDNESDAY 1/30

12:41 pm: Brooke gives me $100 dollars for the entire trip. I predict it will last me at least 20 minutes.

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Nothing says responsible spending like airport beers.

8:07 pm:  Arrive in Denver. We go to Little India. The waitress spills a russian mule on me and apologizes by telling me I will get a kiss from a Russian. I ask her if she is Russian. She tells me no, but says  i’m cute. It doesn’t make up for the fact that she fucked up my manhattan. Brooke makes me pay for my food with the per diem she just gave me.

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FINE, TAKE IT WOMAN!

11:00 pm: As if this was any suprise, I check legal weed off the list first.

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I get by with a little help from The Gremlinz.

11:30 pm: Signed a tit! I had to explain that if i didn’t write both names, it wouldn’t count.

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Note the proximity to the nipple, Litpon.

12:07 am: “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” Officially more stoked than ever on my soulcation tattoo.

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It might take a second for you to figure out what is going on here.

12:25 am:  NUT BOMBS AWAY!

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Great, now my nuts are tattooed onto the internet.

12:34 am: The guy who I nut-bombed catches wind of the photo and attempts to fight me. The bouncer puts him in a headlock and carries him outside.

2:00 am: Kick it at The Shag until they kick us out.

2:30 am: I think the Irish Snug was closed but they served us anyway.

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This is a good example of a bad decision.

DAY ONE DOWN, BUT THE SHOW HASN’T EVEN STARTED, KEEP READING!

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Comments (24)

  1. I find this story amusing and interesting

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  2. WHOA, Nanook sweatshit! havent seen one of them in years

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  3. I’m twelv years old and wat is this?

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  4. the intern went to denver and didnt send me a replacement helmet for the one he gave to sume random dude? next time get a face tattoo from nate bozung jackass

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  5. that was really awesome, to the point where i dont mind the lack of tattoo

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  6. WHOLEHEARTEDLY APPROVE.
    EXCELLENT JOB YOUNG MAN.
    TOESIDE TERRORS ULTIMATE.

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  7. dat ass

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  8. i heard brooke pierced her dick

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  9. best thing on yobeat, and the legal weed makes moving it from vegas almost worth it

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  10. well that was much better than i expected

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  11. I’m hungover just reading this

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  12. this was awesome even if you didnt shit in the nitro booth

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  13. I did coke with the intern in the strip club bathroom.

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  14. That was actually….kinda cool

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  15. haha holy fuck this guy and his adventures

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