12-21-12. The date the Mayans ran out of rock and idiots took it to mean the end of the world. We generally ignore these idiots, but lately we’ve noticed things that have made us think those crazy Mexicans could have been right. Last week, the New York Times posted an article about climate change and the end of winter as we know it. Then, we heard Jaegar Bailey nabbed himself a slot in the X Games “Real Street” rail jam, and obviously there’s nothing real about rodeo-boardslide-frontflip-out. Plus, Myspace is making a comeback. But if the world ends, all of these things cease to exist, so maybe it’s the universe’s way of protecting us? Either way, better safe than sorry, so we caught up with some of your favorite pros to see their plans.
The world is supposedly ending on Friday. How are you spending your last days on earth preparing for dooms day?
Alex Andrews: “Watching the Bonezone movie then getting in the zombie cruncher and heading to the mountains.”
Knut Eliassen: “I am snowboarding every day until the end of the world on Friday. I will be hiking up Brighton at 11 pm Thursday so I can be snowboarding when the world explodes! Probably right when I attempt the first quad cork, or what I like to call the “double-double.”
Zach Seibert: “Don’t believe the hype! Great excuse to party though.”
Andrew Brewer: “If the world is going to end I am going to be partying! Also I heard stock up on 9 millimeter and 12 gauge shotguns. Might go shopping for guns soon.”
Niko Cioffi: “Gremlinz East Coast premiere in a mansion, duh.”
Blake Paul: “Fireball and cheese pizza.”
Shane Flood: “Riding lots of powder.”
Nick Dirks: “Load up on ammo and food, drive the van somewhere beautiful and try to survive. Maybe reenforce my van so its like a tank, a house-tank.”
Corey Smith: “Maybe a massive dose of mescaline on top of one of these peaks here in Tahoe?”
Madison Blackley: “I’m gonna have butt sex.”
Brendan Rego: “I’m pretty fucked. I’ve gotta work until 9:30, so if it ends at work I’m going to be pissed.”
Stephen Duke: “Oh fuck, I’m driving down into Mexico tonight, gonna check some serious shit off my bucket list.”
These guys really aren’t taking this very seriously. Good thing we made this survival guide. Dave Schiff will save you.
Or maybe we’ll look back on this and laugh one day, just like Henry Phillips did.
Signing off, good luck, and god speed.