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Under Review: HO12 Nike Zoom Kaiju

Legal weed and free boots make A-man a happy man.*

The only pieces of snowboard gear that still matter are goggles and boots. All the rest of this stuff is pretty damn excellent–no need to review anything, unless you have a good skit idea. Boards are great, bindings are great, wet underwear ain’t a thing (none of your business). The only real day-enders are fogged goggles or bad boots. If I can’t see, I can’t do my signature no-grab straight airs with confidence. And though I’m probably like in the top five of toughest dudes ever, I’m done dealing with dead toenails or my foot falling asleep from cut-off circulation. Fuck that shit.

I told Brooke I wasn’t going to comment on these Nike Kaiju’s until I had sufficient time in them. Todd Richards is comfortable telling you they’re good from his SoCal garage without even putting them on his feet, but he’s one of America’s top boarders. I’m just some dude like you. Until I ride in them, I can’t say anything other than, “these look like Jordan III’s. Dude, super sick!”

Well, you dummies, I have about 20 hours in these motherfuckers and I’m ready to tell you: they are really good.

They’re light and pleasantly stiff. The lacing is simple and effective. None of my toenails have fallen off.

They’re matchy-matchy with my board, showing I know a lot about high fashion. In other words: “dude, super sick!” Stoked on them.

My first day is usually pretty harsh. Muscles I haven’t used for eight months ache for a couple days after returning to the snow. This year, well that happened again. Pain sites: arms knees shoulders neck. Why? God, I suck.

But from my feet: nothing. No pain! Amazing.

VERDICT: Buy these and wear these and swoop around in snow and have fun.

As for any anti-Nike snowboard purists who want to argue who gets to be in this: you’re silly. Wasting your time. It’s almost 2013. Nike makes a great snowboard boot and weed is legal. You’re the sad old guy at the end of the bar, waiting to die. Alone.

Lieutenant Moron, Yobeat Seattle Bureau

*FULL DISCLOSURE: Nike pays us money for ads (though not for this review) and A-man got these boots for free.

It is fun to ride snowboards.
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Comments (33)

  1. there is nothing serious about YoBeat besides your long ass comments…

  2. I have these boots, the maroon ones, and I think they fit my feet god damn perfectly. Why does it matter that nike makes boots or whatever? DC makes boots, they sell shit at Target, which i guess makes them more core than anyone… but that isnt the point is it? Buy boots that fit, these fit my feet and thus keep them warm, comfy and best of all responsive. my only critisism is with the inner lace and the little slidey peice that keeps the ankle harness tight… or not, it always comes loose about half way through the day and I have to relace. Not so bad all in all. Theyre not bulky, they look kinda rad, and the only thing people can see is my toes, so i can just say that theyre made by someone else?

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