Yobeat, meet Oliver Dixon. You may remember him from previous Cats of Anarchy posts. If you don’t, that’s probably best. Friday night Oliver texted us saying all his friends had gone out to enjoy themselves leaving him to fester alone in front of a computer. What better way to use that time than to review some not so spectacular edits. So armed with some pizza and a 12 pack we let Oliver loose on the rejected edits.
Strange Brew and Brett’s Bday at Boreal
First things first, all I want to know is whether or not Brett actually received a big booty ho for his birthday. I didn’t see any. I feel as if some random twerk vids should have been a part of this edit. I think my two favorite things in life are snowboarding and big booties so putting those things together seems like a power move at this point. On the real though, this edit is pretty entertaining, my only criticism is that it’s a bit too long and kids these days have a fucked up short attention span. Most viewers probably wont even read as far as this sentence. There was a lot of really cool shit in here though but it should have been about 3 minutes long or so and strictly hams. You had enough hams and more than enough hilarious party shots.. this could have been a game changer but at 7 or so minutes long it seems unattractive. Nice work though!
Too long? Didn’t read? There are a bunch of hams sprinkled throughout and some awesome party shots at around 5:30.
Pre-7(preseason) with Jacob
The subject of this email read “hate me or love me im still an obsession….” and that seems like a drunken sentiment to me. Were you drunk? You party. I noticed this edit was 420 friendly as well which is fucqqin siiiiiiiiiq! On a more serious note this edit looks like it was made by someone who doesn’t usually make snowboard edits but has some other kind of video editing experience. There were some neato artsy shots but a lot of the shred shots were a bit too tight. You cut your friends heads off a few times and that ain’t cool. Don’t be decapitating your homies mane! Also, the actual shred content was pretty basic. Not atrocious, just basic. A lot of flat bar/back yard edits come our way and we rarely ever feature them, so if that’s your goal y’all better step that shit up!
Early November at Tyrol Basin
Right after watching this edit I dug deep within my soul’s anus to find the perfect phrase to describe this and I was stuck between these two: “Soggy Clusterfuck” and “Massive Swivel Orgy” but seeing as the riders in this edit seem pretty young I’d like to give you the benefit of the doubt and try to be as helpful as possible. First things first the song was soft as fuck and seemed a bit serious. Chill out fellas! Same goes for the riders. Y’all just sort of hucked your shit onto shit and called it tight shit. There were a bunch of 300’s where there should have been 360’s. There were swivels where there should have been… well… not swivels. Clean that shit up boys. I saw a few hammers go down but most of them should have been re-done. Hold your heads up boys, you’re better than that, I know it! Also, it seemed a bit over produced. Nothing beats a homie session with a proper fisheye lens… but who am I to push my views on you? If you like that kind of stuff stay true but it seems to me like you should focus less on the complexity of your shots and editing and more on the actual shred content, like tricks, lines, gaps, and hijinx. Get back to the drawing board and hit me with that fresh shit. Shout out to jNepnation, whutup.
Preseason @ Wachusett
What we got here is a classic rejected edit. Check it out ladies and gentlemen, this is what most of you look like. It’s a lot of shit that’s just sort of uninteresting. I’m not saying you’re not having fun out there, I’m sure you’re having a blast actually! It’s just that certain things aren’t as cool to watch as they are to do. Perfect example? Whacking off. I’m sure whacking off feels great to you and by all means you should feel free to do it as often as possible. However, I don’t really feel the need to watch you do it. Maybe if you were a hot chick… but that’s an entirely different story. Constructive criticism? Watch and read more rejected edits!
This edit was actually pretty damn tight! I see good things in the future for these homies. I’ve never been to Brule before but if you guys were to do another edit here when the park is poppin’ off a bit more then I think you guys have a pretty good chance of graduating from rejected edits! You just have to cut that skier. Y’all should know better, that shit won’t fly on yobeat. That kid talking shit at the end was a pretty awesome find. You guys are pretty rad and I know how hard it can be to make a banger edit in Michigan but I know you can do it. Keep up the good work!
I fuggin’ love weed! Not bad euros, too bad it’s a tube-only edit. Clay Hatz already shut that shit down. As mentioned previously, he’s the tube/turf commander. To have your tube edit posted you would have to somehow top that, and I’m pretty sure that’s not even possible. Try your best though, riding tubes is fun as hell and makes you feel like you have a huge wang. That’s why I do it.
This is Horsesh*t:
You guys have bad boy attitudes and that is not something I’m debating. However, we live in a world where having a bad boy attitude is becoming more and more common. Being a hot boy on a tube just wont cut it anymore. You guys have to get sketchy mane, lemme see that chest hair. Metaphorically, of course. I don’t really want to see your chest pubes but I think I’ve made my point by now.