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REJECTED EDITS: The Preseason Pleasure Dome

Yobeat, meet Oliver Dixon. You may remember him from previous Cats of Anarchy posts. If you don’t, that’s probably best. Friday night Oliver texted us saying all his friends had gone out to enjoy themselves leaving him to fester alone in front of a computer. What better way to use that time than to review some not so spectacular edits. So armed with some pizza and a 12 pack we let Oliver loose on the rejected edits.

Strange Brew and Brett’s Bday at Boreal

Grade: B+

First things first, all I want to know is whether or not Brett actually received a big booty ho for his birthday. I didn’t see any. I feel as if some random twerk vids should have been a part of this edit. I think my two favorite things in life are snowboarding and big booties so putting those things together seems like a power move at this point. On the real though, this edit is pretty entertaining, my only criticism is that it’s a bit too long and kids these days have a fucked up short attention span. Most viewers probably wont even read as far as this sentence. There was a lot of really cool shit in here though but it should have been about 3 minutes long or so and strictly hams. You had enough hams and more than enough hilarious party shots.. this could have been a game changer but at 7 or so minutes long it seems unattractive. Nice work though!

Too long? Didn’t read? There are a bunch of hams sprinkled throughout and some awesome party shots at around 5:30.

Pre-7(preseason) with Jacob

Grade: C-

The subject of this email read “hate me or love me im still an obsession….” and that seems like a drunken sentiment to me. Were you drunk? You party. I noticed this edit was 420 friendly as well which is fucqqin siiiiiiiiiq! On a more serious note this edit looks like it was made by someone who doesn’t usually make snowboard edits but has some other kind of video editing experience. There were some neato artsy shots but a lot of the shred shots were a bit too tight. You cut your friends heads off a few times and that ain’t cool. Don’t be decapitating your homies mane! Also, the actual shred content was pretty basic. Not atrocious, just basic. A lot of flat bar/back yard edits come our way and we rarely ever feature them, so if that’s your goal y’all better step that shit up!

Early November at Tyrol Basin

Grade: D+

Right after watching this edit I dug deep within my soul’s anus to find the perfect phrase to describe this and I was stuck between these two: “Soggy Clusterfuck” and “Massive Swivel Orgy” but seeing as the riders in this edit seem pretty young I’d like to give you the benefit of the doubt and try to be as helpful as possible. First things first the song was soft as fuck and seemed a bit serious. Chill out fellas! Same goes for the riders. Y’all just sort of hucked your shit onto shit and called it tight shit. There were a bunch of 300’s where there should have been 360’s. There were swivels where there should have been… well… not swivels. Clean that shit up boys. I saw a few hammers go down but most of them should have been re-done. Hold your heads up boys, you’re better than that, I know it! Also, it seemed a bit over produced. Nothing beats a homie session with a proper fisheye lens… but who am I to push my views on you? If you like that kind of stuff stay true but it seems to me like you should focus less on the complexity of your shots and editing and more on the actual shred content, like tricks, lines, gaps, and hijinx. Get back to the drawing board and hit me with that fresh shit. Shout out to jNepnation, whutup.

Preseason @ Wachusett

Grade: D

What we got here is a classic rejected edit. Check it out ladies and gentlemen, this is what most of you look like. It’s a lot of shit that’s just sort of uninteresting. I’m not saying you’re not having fun out there, I’m sure you’re having a blast actually! It’s just that certain things aren’t as cool to watch as they are to do. Perfect example? Whacking off. I’m sure whacking off feels great to you and by all means you should feel free to do it as often as possible. However, I don’t really feel the need to watch you do it. Maybe if you were a hot chick… but that’s an entirely different story. Constructive criticism? Watch and read more rejected edits!

Ski Brule

Grade: B+

This edit was actually pretty damn tight! I see good things in the future for these homies. I’ve never been to Brule before but if you guys were to do another edit here when the park is poppin’ off a bit more then I think you guys have a pretty good chance of graduating from rejected edits! You just have to cut that skier. Y’all should know better, that shit won’t fly on yobeat. That kid talking shit at the end was a pretty awesome find. You guys are pretty rad and I know how hard it can be to make a banger edit in Michigan but I know you can do it. Keep up the good work!

Forsassong

Grade: C

I fuggin’ love weed! Not bad euros, too bad it’s a tube-only edit. Clay Hatz already shut that shit down. As mentioned previously, he’s the tube/turf commander. To have your tube edit posted you would have to somehow top that, and I’m pretty sure that’s not even possible. Try your best though, riding tubes is fun as hell and makes you feel like you have a huge wang. That’s why I do it.

This is Horsesh*t:

Grade: C-

You guys have bad boy attitudes and that is not something I’m debating. However, we live in a world where having a bad boy attitude is becoming more and more common. Being a hot boy on a tube just wont cut it anymore. You guys have to get sketchy mane, lemme see that chest hair. Metaphorically, of course. I don’t really want to see your chest pubes but I think I’ve made my point by now.

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  • Zoid

    This guy was way too nice.

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  • 989

    i vote that we also post a video of that girl whacking off…

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  • Tony Danza

    Fuck Jerm, more thoughts from Oliver’s soul’s anus.

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  • http://dlkfja.com fuckjerm

    This is way better then jerm just being lazy and saying every edit sucks even though he rides for saga. I think rejected edits should help the n00bs that don’t edit and just enjoy snowboarding for fun to progress.. learn. grow.

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  • Joe

    Oliver is hilarious, he should be writing here more often.

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  • bret

    Let oliver do all the rejected edits he kills it, and fuck who ever sent in my edit

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  • dick poncho

    SHOUT OUT TO JNEPNATION. why on that one mr. dixon?

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  • ski brule

    kid in the flannel had some hammers in the brule edit

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  • Shaqueefa

    Brule edit needed more hijinx. If you’ve been to opening day there, you know the parking lot party is heavy. Kid in the bricksquad hoody rolls a nice blunt.

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  • soft and chewy

    oliver dixon rejected edits now through 12-21-2012, because we all know the worlds gonna end.

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  • Z@@

    If you don’t smoke weed and have a problem with it, shut the fuck up. If you smoke weed and want everyone to know that you smoke weed, shut the fuck up.

    (0)
     
  • http://getitwatery.blogspot.com/ yoyougotfruit

    7 minute mini movie was the tits
    need more shit like that

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  • http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=290558441050653&set=a.289799214459909.57125.289798214460009&type=1&theater teamneversober

    strange brew kills it

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  • merica

    Oliver Dixon will hand out free rapes for christmas

    (0)
     
  • yes.

    i have chest hair!
    demote jerm, hire odie.

    (0)
     
  • Jimbo

    Fuck Oliver and yobeat for creating a page and even wasting your time to negatively critique kids videos who were nice enough to send it here. Is this supposed to motivate young kids to make edits, jeesh chill out and accept or don’t accept these edits. Don’t give your personal detailed thoughts on what wasn’t a pefect snowboard edit. This is snowboarding, edits that are good are based on personal opinions, not your dumb opinion Yobeat. You fools, ya fucked up

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  • wumbo

    I feel as though I’m the only one who appreciates Jerm..

    (0)
     
  • YourProblyCoolerThanMe

    Jimbo… have you never seen rejected edits before?

    or did i just miss the sarcasm in your post?

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  • Cobra_Dawg

    OH MY GAWD I KNOW CLAY

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  • burrr

    HORSESHITS. WOLFPUSSY. YFTD.

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  • herpderp

    Ski Brule was a classic Cryin Squirtin (Ryan Curtain) edit. YEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.

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  • MIKEGrass

    Skiers don’t fly on yobeat huh? remind me again, when did saga become a snowboard company?

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  • Pimple

    horse shits aren’t bad ass at all .

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  • lame

    first one to count how many swivels are in the tyrol edit wins a free so gnar hoodie from the riders in that video, not to mention the only hoodies they have are so gnar.

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  • Ollie D

    @mikegrass

    Saga is an outerwear company. They make outerwear for people that need outerwear.

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  • http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lq0iwbjfb91qbrrf8.png MattyT

    Saga makes outerwear for chads.

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  • Ollie D

    @mattyt

    That may or may not be true..

    However, I would like to let it be known to everyone that you do in fact shit cum.

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  • Travis Pastrana

    STRANGE BREW SUCKS!

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  • scootordie

    Bret (kid with the stepchild) and Jack (the flannel kid) in the brule edit slay

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  • curtin

    wassup haters

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  • STRANGE

    shmincline village is out here

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  • Scoli bones

    @STRANGE we actually live in kb…..fuck nevada

    (0)
     
  • HashTag

    I feel that if Oliver had to do this as much as Jerm he would be way more meaner and not give a fuck #iremembermyfirstbeer

    (0)
     
  • Obviously

    dope I made rejected edits! All it took was an hour and a backyard rail!

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  • datCHEEZ

    so, can we consider a combination of tyrol and the hot bitch floggin’ it for a progressive career move for the brule kids? they slay, no doubt, but i mean a “massive hot bitch swivelbation orgy” would definitely up ur game.

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