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Dave Schiff’s Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide

It’s becoming increasingly clear that the end is near, but if you manage to make it, Dave Schiff has the ultimate chaos kit that is imperative for your survival. Better get it now, before it’s too late.

1. Dakine Raptor Glove
MSRP: $85

2. Airblaster Air Goggles
MSPR: $99.99

3. K2 Rescue Shovel
MSRP: $79.95

4. K2 400 Aluminum Probe
MSRP: $69.95

5. Dakine Helipro 20L Backpack
MSRP: $85

6. Airblaster Ninja Suit
MSRP: $109.99

Not pictured

Nike Gore Budmo Pant
MSRP: $300

Nike Gore Kampai Jacket
MSRP: $400

likes soft pastel overtones.
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  • Micheal J Fox

    I just can’t stop dancing.

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  • Oregrown

    Number 6 looks like a bag of weed to me

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  • dick poncho

    Dave shiff looks like a retard

    (0)
     
  • dick poncho

    sorry, a zombie retard

    (0)
     
  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaNpYpSZ2C4 Pruane2Forever

    He looks like me, click on the link

    (0)
     
  • Debaser

    Did you just discover the internet?

    (0)
     
  • Dunfee

    “…and by the human race, I mean deze nuts, motherfucker!”

    (0)
     
  • JP Walker

    I was told this was going to be epic….

    (0)
     
  • hmmm.

    It was epic.

    (0)
     
  • lurkin

    give us a contest for this shit motherfuckers

    (0)
     
  • Dave Schiff

    Y’all just hatin’ cuz I got me one more chromosome than the rest a y’all. It makes me sassy child. My momma says I’m special and when she found me under those power lines by the waste processing center in jersey her heart almost cracked. She said she never thought a one eyed one horned hunchback and a Jew could create such a beautiful baby. Y’all just mad you ain’t sassy like me child.

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  • http://yobeat Mommy Schiff

    I was going to defend you, but after reading and watching this random garbage, I can officially put my mind to rest and come to terms that you David ARE a useless retard.

    (0)
     
  • boneyballsack

    dave needs to stop trying to act and get those fucking braces off

    (0)
     
  • billybatts

    Does the backpack come with a signature DAVE SCHIFF retainer pocket??????? AHH ZING!!!!!!!!!!!

    (0)
     

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