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Lipton’s Official CAPiTA/Union Review

In an interview that was cut from this review for being too boring, Nick Lipton was asked, “Which gives you a bigger boner, CAPiTA or strip clubs?” After not much thought, he responded, “Strip Clubs don’t really give me boners.”

2012 CAPiTA Horrorscope FK

The Horrorscope FK was born as a late release limited edition board and is now our #1 selling model worldwide. Featuring pre-loaded positioning for expert level jibbers, and easy turnin’, mindless shreddin’ for those intermediate riders that want to expedite the learning curve. Transworld Snowboarding gave it the Good Wood nod in 2010, and after showing up in countless video parts and blogs, it became one of the most sought after boards in snowboarding. The Horrorscope FK takes no effort! Stable at high speeds! Perfect for hangovers! Jib like a mad man!


2012 CAPiTA Space Metal Fantasy FK (Womens)

The Space Metal Fantasy harnesses the biggest trend in snowboarding and applies that reverse camber theory in a women’s specific chassis. Modeled after the Horrorscope FK, the reverse camber Flat Kick application of the SMF yields the same awesome results. Elevated contact points provide a very forgiving, fun experience for intermediate riders looking to expedite the learning curve, and pre-loaded camber positioning helps expert level jibbers looking to impress.


2012 Union Force


2011 Union Milan (They made them hot pink for 2012, so whatever)


Every word in this post-even those based on real people-are entirely fictional. The quotes might be bullshit too.
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Comments (17)

  1. Best part about this: He complain on the girls highback, while his highback is exactly the same.

  2. everyone knows the hippest way to get better at snowboarding is by not snowboarding at all…

  3. This was the most boring Lipton review I’ve ever watched

  4. weazyjefferson is a whiny pooch. the best part of this was when brooke turned into lipton and talked about stupid shit for 30 seconds.

  5. snakes the skull fucker is the man apparently