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Intern Facts

Video: Intern Austin
Words: Intern Richard J Sweet

Here at YoBeat, we’ve gotten ourselves into a serious predicament. Somehow I, Intern Richard, have surpassed the knowledge of Brooke, my boss. The brainpower gap between the two of us became pretty obvious during the lift rides on the Mandatory Intern Shred Day she made us participate in. I could tell she was impressed when her jaw dropped during my stories.

Obviously she’s a girl, so she does get some sort of handicap, but even with that factored in, her history and science understanding is basically zero. I guess it’s not really fair to compare Brooke to someone as smart as me – I’m smart as fuck — but one would think the YoBeat creator would be a bit smarter than a Junior in High School, right?

Either way, my history and science facts blew her mind, so I’m sure they’ll blow yours too. You’re not smarter than Brooke, only I am. Look for me running the joint in about 3 — 5 months, my brain’s about to take over.

Intern History Facts

Albert Einstein Vs Adolf Hitler?

So basically these two were the smartest shitbags of their era, both from Germany. Hitler didn’t want any competition, so he simply told Einstein to “fuck off”. Einstein agreed and fled to America. Google it. It’s true.

No weekend?

The weekend is a time for leisure and recreational fun, such as snowboarding. But did you know there was no official weekend until 1940? Teddy Roosevelt solved that shit. Shortly after, Jake Burton invented his very first snowboard referred as the “snurfer.”

Intern Science

Sneezing

Fact: It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open. Sneezing is also considered 1/16 of an orgasm, so if you’re not getting some, get sneezing. The picture above is proof. Shes definitely gettin’ her jollies.

Strongest muscle?

I thought it would be your heart, or possibly penis. Both wrong. It’s your tongue.

Basic Knowledge

Are women good for anything?

Since the beginning of time, women have basically been useless to the human race. Yea, they may produce children, but guys have always been on top. We are faster, stronger, smarter and superior in every way — it’s been scientifically proven by interns around the globe. Recently however, studies have revealed that a girl, Brooke Geery, is the founder of the super cool snowboarding website, YoBeat. Scientists around the world are baffled, and reports of dizziness and seizures have been reported in men upon first hearing the stunning news. I’m considering cross dressing.

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Comments (22)

  1. Hitler was from Austria… you interns really are geniuses.

     
  2. And they spelt “yeah” as “yea” like a bunch of soft bitches

     
  3. America where the men are men…and so are the women :).

     
  4. nothing like a good ole fashioned gaper day out

     
  5. wat do all these pics have in common? they all have they’re mouths open for some dick, and the useless female at the bottom is cleanin it allll up…naturally

     
  6. ah the intern. The only dumbfuck stupid enough to work for free

     
  7. @#9 how the fuck else do you get a job these days? interning is almost essential if you ever want to step up from your job in the rental shop. your dumb ass clearly doesnt understand working hard for something you want. although I dont think an internship at yobeat would ever help your career, but at a real place, yeah

     
  8. And somehow this didn’t make rejected edits. HAHAHA

     
  9. this intern sounds like a cocky douche bag with an ego the size of a an elephant

     
  10. jeeze louise, this was straight garbage.

     
  11. this explains why yobeat sucks. its run by a woman.

     
  12. cool staff of transgender snowboarders!

     
  13. That edit should have been on rejected edits

     
  14. wow i was watching that edit with headphones on. and wehn i turned it off. i thought i left it on because everybody hates chris was playing the exact same song at the exact same time.omg that was nuts.

     
  15. What exactly does Brooke have going on for her? She cant snowboard, she seems like a bitch, and most importantly she looks like a dude…

     
  16. The snurfer was created BEFORE Jake Burton… in 1968. Burton converted it into the modern snowboard. Nice try though.

     

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