Now that Yobeat has grown into a multimillion dollar corporation and will soon be topping the Forbes 500 list, we’ve obviously had to expand. You’ve probably noticed our new intern popping up here and there, but we’ve also secured an office in the snowboard hotbed of Chicago. This weekend, while the underlings were covering a rail jam in Seattle, I hopped the private jet for liaison with Chicago’s top ad exec, Nick Lipton. We’re talking serious, high level executive shit here. JP-Walker-Hump-day, giant-ad-contract, Diamond-Donny-type business. Even though we’re charging things on our AmEx Black card these days, we haven’t forgotten about you, the little guy. In fact, we’ve decided to go where others dare not tread and fill you in on what really went down on the first annual Yobeat corporate retreat.
6:00 am. Nick meets me on the curb, fully dressed, still up from last night.
6:30 am.Â I get some sleep. Nick reads a book by candlelight.
9:30 am. Nick tells me taking a shower is ridiculous.
11:03 am. Brunch. Nick has his first drink, a bloody mary, Chicago-style, which means including a lot of meat.
11:56 am. Couch shopping.
11:57 am. Nick realizes he hadn’t had a cig yet.
12:01 pm. Nick makes a joke at intern’s expense.
12:17 pm. Nick announces he is going to take a shit.
12:19 pm. After some prep, Nick actually commences taking a shit.
12:22 pm. Nick texts me to tell me how good it feels.
12:25 pm. Nick has his first cig.
12:56 pm. Strategy meeting.
1:05 pm. Nick tells me to text Burton marketing girl that he would possibly like to make sweet love to her.
1:15 pm. Nick tells me I’m weird.
1:59 pm. Go to return 4-day-old redbox DVDs, Nick smokes a cig.
2:15 pm. I decide to teach Nick how to coupon at the Jewel-Osco. Discover they have booze coupons in Chicago.
2:30 pm. Nick tells me I need a hobby.
2:37 pm. Purchase 1 30-pack of PBR for $9.99, thanks coupons!
3:05 pm. Drink first beer while watching Ross Capicchoni’s survival story
3:27 pm. Nick talks me into getting a tattoo. Walk across the street to make appointment for later.
3:29 pm. Nick smokes cig
3:36 pm. Nick notes usually he would still be sleeping on a Saturday
4:34 pm. More conceptualization. Talk a bunch of shit.
4:36 pm. Nick exclaims, “I’m a diva motherfucker!”
5:33 pm. Go back to get my tattoo.
7:11 pm. My tattoo almost complete, Nick decides he wants a tattoo. Settles for a cig
8:20 pm. Dinner.
8:30 pm. Nick tells me not to blog everything that happens tonight.
9:20 pm. Snowboard gear photo shoot.
10:45 pm. Top secret executive stuff
3:15 am. I find Nick passed out on a pile of snowboard clothes
9:55 am. Leave hilarious comments on snowboarding websites.
10:21 am. Commence hat test with a cig and bottomless bloody marys.
10:42 am. Editorial planning meeting. New idea: Yobeat personals. Target audience: nice, generous old men.
12:06 pm. Nick offers emotionally supportive device to a friend with possible cancer. “You can get a fake one.”
12:25 pm. Nick defeats me in a WWF grudge match at Best Buy
1:13 pm. Couch shopping
1:22 pm. Falafel stop at Sultans Market
1:55 pm. Watch SNL skits on hulu
2:08 pm. Commence actual product review filming
3:30 pm. Review first video. Nick realizes his own brilliance.
6:30 pm. Pizza.
7:15 pm. Super top secret mission to O’Hare international airport.
9:36 pm. Go to Nick’s cubicle to change for next test. Leo Burnett. 27th floor.
9:55 pm. Nick talks a man in $300 shoes into doing a kickflip.
10:39 pm. Beers at Rossi’s
12:28 am. Dinner. Old Style. Shots of Jameson.
1:58 am. Observe fight.
2:30 am. Realize there are 15 PBRs left.
3:00 am. Serious top level executive shit.
9:15 am. Nick wakes up. Goes to work.