From P-Clot to pussy monster and from scrubbing the dishes at Windells like he was busting a stalefish late Saturday night, if you catch my drift. If you don’t, a stalefish is when you take your back hand and reach under your leg and jerk off that way. Okay, enough of that. Derrek is my good buddy and is good to all! Wonderful, delightful kid who just shines a light of joy upon everyone! And I couldn’t believe that he pulled two chicks in the morning before it was lunch time! My name is Johnny Lazz and I approved this message, read this Hump Day about Derrek and learn something! -Lazz
E. How was spending a winter away from Washington/Mommy?
D. It was cool. I guess I hadn’t really ever left Washington for a long time period before this winter. I’m hyped on how it went, got to experience some places I hadn’t gone, and meet a bunch of really good people.
E. So you just spent most of last season living with Mr. Lazz out in Tahoe. What did your days mostly consist of?
D. Yeah, Lazz, Colin Walters, Josh Bishop and I. We pretty much just boarded everyday, made a shit ton of grilled cheeses and smoked spleefs. It was my first time to Tahoe and I had no plan at all on staying there but it ended up being real good.
Sponsor plug! Photo: Darcy Bacha
E. Where did the sudden jump in rank come from in the Rome AM Army?
D. I’m really not sure, I just boarded a bunch, filmed a bit of a part and kept in contact with friends at Rome and it seemed to workout. I’m super grateful for the opportunity, I didn’t really have much plans on trying to do something with snowboarding until the last season or so, so really anything that happens is a huge bonus, I’d be boarding either way but to have a company like Rome willing to help me keep doing what I love to do is so fuckin’ awesome and appreciated. I’m real excited for the next few years, I just want to work hard at the goals ahead of me, board, travel and meet many good people along the way.
E. As some may know you are a man of many nicknames but the most famous one I hear the most is P-clot. Who gave you the name and why did it stick?
D. Lucas Wilson and Vince Lewis. It was my first day ever coming to the Ark, they forced fed me a shit ton of Night Train, then they tried to get me to take a mole. I’d never even heard of that shit and I thought they were fuckin’ idiots for putting tobacco on a bong hit. We had watched Shottas or some rasta shit earlier in the day so they called me P- Clot. I took the mole, puked out of my car, tried to drive away, failed, and lived at the Ark everyday afterwards.
J. In detail, describe your first day with the Windells kitchen crew.
D. Woke up at like 5:20, stumbled into the kitchen, then Tim made Josh and I get in the recycle bin and smash a shit ton of boxes in the rain. I weighed like 130 lbs. or some shit, Josh probably 140, how do you think it worked out?
This photo file was named dumbphoto.jpg.
E. Comment on your first two days with Josh Bishop this past winter out in Minnesota.
D. Lost my wallet, got White Castle, went to Blake, Hoagie and Marty’s house. Hung out at the house, woke up, went to a few spots. It was pretty good. I’d never been out there or anywhere close to it so it was a new experience. I’d definitely like to spend a bit more time out that direction this coming winter.
E. So what’s the deal with Hobo?
D. It’s Colin Walters and Dylan Alito’s company. Colin makes a whole assortment of snapbacks, beanies, mittens, sunglasses and more shit to come. Really just a bunch of friends that board and back HOBO shit 100%. www.hoboshredwear.blogspot.com
E. What movie do you want to be played, on repeat, at your funeral? Don’t be shy.
D. Menace 2 Society, it’s the only movie that works on our TV at the ark. Menace has probably played upwards of 200 times in club two since camp started this summer. It’s playing as I’m writing this. This might be a bold claim, but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that movie more than anyone in the world.
Heavenly noseblunt. Photo: Darcy Bacha
E. Would you say that you consistently live in the Danger Zone?
D. Probably not.
E. Do you think you will be going back to Tahoe this winter or stayin’ local in Washington?
D. I really don’t know what I’m gonna do. I’d way rather travel all winter, board, film and hang with friends. But I wouldn’t be against renting a spot there to hang out when I’m not doing other stuff. I grew up in Seattle, which I’m sure you’ve heard it rains all the time in the winter, so anytime I get to spend boarding in the sun is the best. Washington has some of the most incredible terrain I’ve ever seen and I love boarding there so fuckin’ much but I’m definitely ready to spend a few years trying out other places.
E. What is your plain A and plan B for the zombie apocalypse?
D. No plans, I’m pretty sure I’d be fucked.
E. What does you camping checklist consist of?
D. Sleeping bag, headlamp, friends, eatables, drinkables and smokeables.
This shot got got. Photo: Darcy Bacha
E. Talk a little about your first time in Government Camp.
D. Well… I was like 16 or 17 and I came to do a Rome pre-jib at Ski Bowl. The contest went well and I met some of the Rome guys that were working the contest so they took me out to Govy and force fed me Whiskey at Chucks. The last thing I remember is walking into some random house at the Skummits. Then I woke up on Jeff Rudinski’s floor with no pants on. I grabbed my pants and they were soaking wet with P-Clot’s piss. It was a crazy first experience up there and I was definitely embarrassed at the time. I barely knew anyone at the house I peed all over and had no idea what I did, but it ended up being a pretty funny story that someone around here always seems to bring up.
E. Who has better musical taste Josh or Billy Mackey?
D. Well Bill has his Nitro knife pointed at me as we speak, so I’m gonna go with Billy.
E. What’s it like having an ARK shorty?
D. Ha, better then not having one.
E. Have you ever been slapped after sex?
D. No comment.
D. Everyone I’m friends with and all the people who have supported me in one way or another. All the people at Rome SDS, HOBO, Sweaty from Thirty Two, Stevens Pass Snowboard Shop, YOGI, Cameron Fair, Tommy Little and Leland McNamara for helping me get out and film this last season. I appreciate so much any and all the help I get from those guys. Oh, and my mom.
E. All right so last thing. Can you please tell me how to you play cigga-Lo?
D. Cee-lo, minus money and add some cigs. You can come up real big.
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