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State of Shred: Colorado



Population: 5,024,748
State since: August 1,1876
Total Resorts: 22

Colorado is home to some of the top resorts in the nation. Even people from that Europe place come over here to stimulate our economy with their vacations and luckily they bring their hot daughters. Colorado has actual mountains: that get a lot of snow, that are steep, and that allow you to ride until late June some years. Colorado has it all, from a somewhat “big city,” to the quaint little meth towns out east, to schools for you to become learned at, and some sub par sports teams, oh and Coors. In my opinion Colorado is the best place to ride, and has the best variety of terrain anywhere. Does my opinion really matter? No. Did I write this little piece? Yes. So this is my opinion on the fine state of Colorado I realize that some people will disagree with what I wrote, and that is fine I don’t give two shits what you think.

Best of Colorado


Best Park: Breckenridge for jumps Keystone for Jibs
Best place to ride pow: Crested Butte/Silverton
Hottest Ladies: Breckenridge in the springtime
Best Drive: Winter Park miss some of that Summit Traffic
Worst Drive: Red Mountain Pass
Gnarliest chair: Storm Peak Express has a tendency to roll back a little bit
Best Vibes: Winter Park
Worst Vibes: Vail/Aspen
Best Bar: Crooked Creek Saloon or Cecilias
Best place to ride the actual mountain: Winter Park
Best Contest: Sol Vista’s rail jams
Best Shop: Satellite Boardshop


**There are too many mountains to list all of the ones in Colorado, these are just SOME of the best.**

Summit/Eagle County

Breckenridge

The most crowded place in Colorado and one of the finest places to see rich Europeans dress in dead animals but who knows maybe you will get lucky and get to bang their hot daughter Anka in the poop chute. It is a great place to go if you are learning to Double Cork Ballerina move, or love standing in balls to butt lines all day. Breck is home to one of the stops on the Dew Tour, nothing brings out the true spirit of snowboarding like some Double Cork throw your body maneuvers. Going here on the weekends is a worse idea than yelling bomb in an airport. Conditions wise Breck can get some snow, however be warned that it can be windier than Hurricane Katrina some days, making everything icy and all around quite miserable. However this is one of the better mountains to ride it has a little bit of everything and their jumps are always on point.

Keystone

Chances are you are not hip/ghetto enough to ride here. From several experiences here, this mountain houses some of the tightest pants know to mankind and the most thugging of thugs ever to step out of Cherry Creek. If you snowboard you are probably riding Keystone for their park, which is a good decision because most of the other terrain is nothing special. Oh and their jumps are built for skiers, definitely a jibbers paradise.

Vail

Like a more expensive Breckenridge. If you love traversing ride here, this mountain was built for skiers and it sure seems like they want to keep it that way. If you can get past the fact that you have to traverse every other run just to get to ride able terrain then Vail has a little bit of everything to offer. Oh and while you are there make sure to get an autograph and your photo taken with Internet celebrity Jerm!

Western

Aspen

Like a more expensive Breckenridge and Vail combined, with even more smugness! Many celebrities decide to vacation this little spot snorting coke off of porn stars and all sorts of fun shenanigans. Aspen is also the home to the Winter X Games, every die hard bro from all around flocks to this area once a year to watch some of the industries finest throw there bodies around for our amusement.

Northern

Winter Park


Video courtesy http://auntiradd.blogspot.com/

Is one of the most fun mountains to ride in Colorado. Winter Park has the best all around terrain to ride in the state. They have a decent park, good snow, and some of the best side hits, as well as rhythm sections in the trees. (See Respect Your Elders.) It is also one of the only mountains about 2 hours outside of Denver that still has that small mountain town feel. As well as one of the best places to avoid crowds on most weekends, and one of the best places to go if you just want to snowboard and not be caught up in a fashion contest. If you are ever in Colorado Winter Park is one of the mountains that you should ride but you probably won’t.

Steamboat

Is known for its champagne powder, and excellent trees. It is three hours away from Denver, which means its crowds, are never quite as balls to butt as some of the other mountains. Steamboat is the location of one of the Colorado Mountain Colleges, which means there is almost always a good group of kids riding everyday just ripping up the mountain.

Southern


Silverton

Some of the best terrain in the state of Colorado, as well as some of the highest snow falls. Silverton only sells about 100 tickets per day so it is never that crowded, and might be one of the best places in the state to ride powder. To see Silverton watch “Respect Your Elders” that pretty much sums up what Silverton is like.

The rest of Southern Colorado

Gets shit on with snow. Literally just look at some of their annual snowfalls. They don’t have long lines, and once again they get tons of snow. If you are looking to ride powder this area is probably your best bet.

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Comments (33)

  1. HAHA I love all the Coloradan posts. If you have lived here all you life, or at least over 3 seasons, you know what’s up.

    Completely different vibes on EVERY mountain if you ride in the middle of the work vs weekends.

     
  2. STEAMBOAT IS WEAK—-NEED TO UP THE GAME OVER THERE>>NO PARK THIS YEAR.

     
  3. Steamboat’s weak? I bet you couldn’t ride a full day with us up here. we got natural park shit that you actually have to judge to be able to hit

     

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