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A Nutty Hump Day with Josh Bishop

Most people would call this young man Josh Bishop, his close friends call him j-Bish, I personally call him yoshi… don’t ask why. His left  nut once hung inches below his sack, dangling by his vas deferem, which is your nut string, duh! Bitches still suck on em anyway! I spent all summer with this kid at the ark, my god that was a summer!! Whoooops!! — Johnny Lazz

Interview by Colin Houghton. Photos by Drew Smally and “the homies”

First off, where does Josh Bishop call home?

Third person? Alright. Started off the year in Breck after the summertime activities, which I’m sure we’ll get to in a minute. I get pretty antsy cause I’ve been there for a while and didn’t really have anything going for me, no house, no job, so I’ve just been trying to keep my suitcase packed as much as possible. Spent the last month out in Tahoe staying with Johnny (Lazz), Colin (Walters), Derrek (Lever), and Dante. Lil Zander, Baby G, is always over. That house is great, good dudes, we have family dinners all the time, I like it out there a lot. Just got out to Minnesota last week to come stay with Blake, Hoagie, Marty, try to do some filming or something.

Coming from someone who doesn’t know much about Mt. Hood and what goes on at Windells, tell me about what the summers are like up there.

Windells is probably one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. My friend Jesse used to be one of the heads of the kitchen staff, she’s been like my older sister since I was fifteen. She’s been looking out for me for a while and got me the job up there. In doing so she hooked me up with some of the best friends I’ve met in my entire life and some of the best times I’ve ever had were a direct result of her getting me the job up there. Ryan the chef, he’s the man. Enzo the deli man, Sarah making all sorts of crazy desserts, Chance with his stupid dreds and headphones running around all the time, Vince is the man, Derrek and Lamo in the dish pit. Real good people to be around.

What’s the Ark like, any stories?

The Ark? Wild place. There’s too many stories to get into but I remember my first summer up there Legge jumping his 50cc bike over a flaming couch, ramp to ramp. Some of the wildest times I’ve seen. The kitchen crew is the best thing to be a part of. It’s all good friends who all have a really good outlook on snowboarding which is real nice. The snowboarding at Hood is fun but there’s so much else going on in the summertime. The new skate park that Jamie and those dudes just built, (whistles), pictures and video don’t even do it justice. You show up and it’s just massive when it’s right there in front of you, funnest park I’ve ever skated. Camping out there is the funnest thing. Get a bunch of people and go out into the woods and lose our minds for a few days. Running around with machetes and throwing axes, just getting reckless in the woods. Real good time.

Fun in the woods.

So after you left Hood this summer I heard you were working in Wyoming?

Left camp, got back to Denver and didn’t really have anything going for me. Didn’t have a job, didn’t have a house, didn’t have a dime to my name. Found out about this job in Wyoming building barb wire fences, put a tank of gas on my credit card and took off.

What was life like up there?

Spent a couple months up there just doing man shit. Building fences, getting all cut up on barb wire, learning how to weld, branding cattle, driving big dualie diesel trucks hauling a 30 foot trailer off road across the prairie, learned a lot. We lived in this camper trailer on whatever job site we were on, usually in the middle of nowhere. It had one bed, two couches, and six people staying in it.

Heard you came back with some crazy scar?

Yeah, I guess I knew we were gonna talk about this. We were pulling out a section of fence one day in Gillette, WY. I was under the skid steer (Bobcat type thing) trying to attach a four-foot-tall metal spool to the auger (four hundred pound steel drill). The auger came loose, starts dropping towards me but I’m pinned between the skid and the trailer so I have nowhere to go. See this four hundred pound piece of steel come falling, it bounces off the spool and swings from the hydraulic hoses right at me. Hits me in the midsection… pretty hard but I didn’t really think I got hurt. My boss and I were pretty terrified at that point cause that thing is not supposed to come loose and if it had fallen a different way and hit me in the head I would have been dead. So I go to walk it off and something just didn’t feel right. Stuck my hand down my pants to assess the situation and my left nut is hanging three inches lower than normal and sideways. Kinda started freaking out, pulled my pants down right there on the side of the freeway and saw something nobody should ever have to see. Left nut’s just outta the sack dangling precariously.

Wow,

Yeah, so I start kinda losing it, like, “I wanna have kids some day, this isn’t supposed to happen to a person.” But we jumped in the truck so my boss could drive me to the hospital. I realized if I kept freaking but about it I was not gonna be in a good place mentally so I just started telling nut jokes. I had my boss in tears on the way to the hospital he was laughing so hard. When I first saw my nut I just grabbed on and tried to hold everything in place, didn’t want to lose it on the side of the road on the way to the hospital.

Not something you want to lose.

Not at all. But we got to the hospital and I walked up to the front desk like, “I don’t care if somebody’s bleeding from the neck, I need the next room.” They brought me into a room and gave me morphine, rubbed some jelly on the effected area and gave me an ultrasound to make sure everything was still intact. Took me into surgery but they couldn’t put me under so they just gave me some medicine that made me feel like I was drunk. I was awake for the surgery but I blocked it out of my memory. I got real lucky for how unlucky it was to begin with, they just washed it off, put it back in, and sewed me up. No permanent damage other than this sweet scar.

Any nicknames from this?

My boss in Wyoming started introducing me to girls as Slit, trying to get me to show off my scar.

Yes ladies, he can still get stiff.

What is the deal with the Boneyard/Heady house?

We lived with the landlord’s son in this sketchy house in Breck that they rented out by the room. Me, Chris, Kyle, and Dom ended up moving in with five or six strangers. The whole house was already trashed and they were planning on renovating that summer so we figured we’d help along the process by breaking out some of the walls and what not. At least that was the excuse. But it turned into an every night thing where everything was getting broken. It was a circus. We had broken glass everywhere, broken windows, a designated knife throwing wall, fireworks inside, people jumping through bonfires. It was pretty fun but outta control. I had to get out of there when it started going downhill.

What are you filming for this year?

Don’t really know. I’m just trying to put some clips together that I can be proud of and show my grandkids someday. See, grandpa wasn’t always old and square. I know Maxwell might do something this year, not a Boneyard II but something. There’s a Thirsty Convoy video in the works, too, I think something like the skate trip video from the summer. Minnesota homie Marty is filming this other angles thing. Also Worked for the City the other night, that project is looking real good.

The Thirsty Convoy Skate video from this summer…

Who’s helping you out, sponsor wise?

Atmosphere Clothing is really helping me out, they got some good stuff in the works so keep your eye out. Hobo makes the coolest shades and snapback hats. I got real lucky with those companies, doesn’t even have to do with my snowboarding. Colin has been a real good friend for a long time so he’s been giving me stuff since high school. Atmosphere just came about cause Enzo’s my roommate in the summertime and just wants to keep the good times rollin for as long as we can.

Summer fun at Windells.

Who do you think should be getting blown up?

Obviously Dylan (Alito) and Juan (Johnny Lazz) are already doing it which is real cool to see. Brandon (Hobush), Danny Buller, aka Deathwish. People have their opinions about him, but whatever, I’m backing him. Derrek (Lever), Jared (Jordan), Blake (Reid), I don’t know, everybody. I wanna see all the homies blow up. I want everybody to be on the same program, keeping the good times going for as long as we can.

Anything else?

Thanks to you and other cool people, and a shout out to Matty who’s doing some time right now. Stay up buddy we love you.

Fat.

one of the founders of the internet.
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Comments (20)

  1. fuck yeah josh!

     
  2. Hell Yeah Josh, AMERRICA!

     
  3. Testical catastrophes, Almost read like a chuck palahniuk short. Perfect!

     
  4. this guy is crazy. jumps out of the kitchen for a 20 minute break and skates harder and better than everyone out there all afternoon

     
  5. glad to see you be getting that recognition josh. much deserved. you a BOSS!

     
  6. bishop kicks ass no parents no rules but rat ass aka danny bueller is a total douche bag

     
  7. Wow, that was fucking nuts

     

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