You are probably the in the market for some new snowboard gear right about now. I was supposed to write about how to get ready for the season, but I don’t really know what it takes to get ready for snowboarding because I live in the Midwest. Every year I basically get ready by trying to figure out how little I actually have to work for the next 6 months. On the other hand, I can tell you how to not get ready for snowboarding. It basically involves looking for gear on Craigslist. To prove my point I’ve collected some of the finer examples from the local listings.
(Click on the images to expand)
Craigslist Deal #1
I can already tell this dude knows what’s up. He boarded this shit for two years. He knows this board is far from boarded out and he wants someone else to be able to board it. Evan has also been kind enough to tell us he’s six feet tall, and that this board comes up a little past his nose.
This is important because Evan knows snowboards like to know how tall you are. In reality, people need to know boards can’t understand how tall the rider is. BOARDS RESPOND TO WEIGHT, NOT HEIGHT.
Using Evan’s 1980s math, if you’re riding a snowboard that doesn’t go a little past your nose, you’re probably doing it wrong. Evan also slips by telling he’s will to drop the price by $100 if you buy thing with cash by Friday. I’ve got a hunch Evan has never boarded this board. He also might be selling a stolen snowboard. He also might owe someone some money.
I give Evan’s posting zero (0) out of five (5).
Update: When I texted Evan and asked for pics all I got were images of his cock. But those were free, so that’s a plus.
Craiglist Deal #2
This amazing deal comes to us from the city of five-ohs and FUCKING HELL! It’s another board that can tell how tall the rider is. However, it’s in near perfect condition. Except for those garbage barge stickers he put all over it. A little follow through on this ad uncovered the truth that this dude was not really willing to sell me just the left boot. Also, he was not willing to entertain the offer of three Yobeat stickers and some naked pictures of my neighbor. Even though his stickermanship made me think he’d be into seeing some tits.
I’ll give this posting a 1/5 because it’s not the worst board.
Craiglist Deal #3
Craigslist Deal #4
This might be the board for you! Because, as it clearly states, it’s mainly just for riding. As opposed to delivering pizzas or using as a tesla coil. It sucks for those purposes. If I were to get a board for one to do one of those things, I would never buy a Never Summer, those are board mostly for riding. Actually lets just leave that last statement at “I would never buy a Never Summer.”
The seller claims it’s got a couple of scratches that can be fixed with some wax. This leads me to believe this dude is confused about what wax does. Then again, his email name is swamposaurus, so you know he’s raw.
Craigslist Deal #5
$300. Shiiiiit, this seller paid that much for the bindings alone. You’re basically getting the board for free in this deal. How can you go wrong? You better scoop this deal before someone else does.
Craigslist deal #6
Oh fuck this.