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When you’ve lived as many years as Todd, surely you’ve had some magical, life changing spring breaks, right? So in this most celebrated of all spring traditions, we decided to find out. Is it just us, or does Todd seem a little bitter this week?
1. Where is the ultimate spring break destination(s)?
For a lot of douchenozzles, Snookie’s underwear is the ultimate spring break destination. For others it’s the bottom of a bottle of Malibu rum. But for me it has to be Afghanistan. The smell of poppies in the air and the sound of hot lead raining down always gets me in the mood to show off my abs.
2. What was the best spring break of your life?
Where do i start ? How ’bout never. The thought of going somewhere with a bunch of tool bags infected with god-knows-what std combo has always made me want to punch the elderly. f that noise.
3. If snowboarding is mandatory where should a spring breaker head?
I think that Whistler is the ultimate spring break hang out. You can get face down in a snowbank, a std from a vacationing Finnish snowboard pro, and eat a 75 dollar plate of food at Mongolian grill, all in one day.
4. As a father do you enjoy family vacations? Do you think you will when your kids become teens?
Family vacations with two children under 10 are really fun ,but they are also a ton of work. It’s not really a vacation for mom and dad. It’s not like we get to prance around in our birthday suits watching the sunset or anything. Now a vacation to Tavarua, Fiji with my wife on May 19 courtesy of Nixon watches, now that is a friggen spring break worth counting the moments for.
5. Any advice for spring breakers headed to Mexico?
Well first off, try not to get be headed. That’s always a downer. Second, never ever eat a burrito and then wear white linen pants to the club, third, make sure that you actually see the genitalia before making the horrible decision to go home with the local “girl.”