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Recently, a video on this here site managed to incite an internet comment battle for the ages. Now the fight itself had nothing to actually do with the video, which is the beauty of the internet. It’s an epic forum for participating in complete and total wastes of time!
In this battle of wits —
Photographer and YoBeat supreme master of photography, Tim Zimmerman
Blake Gies, snowboarder, 18 year old, and the star of Public Paradise: Week 2
Let’s listen in:
|I want my 2 minutes and 26 seconds back. Come to think of it, I want my 30 seconds back for the Mendenhall thing too.|
|sometimes Zimmerman i wonder what would be funnier, carrot top catching on fire or a tree falling on you. i think you meeting your demise by a tree would be funnier|
|Well Blake, maybe you’ll get your wish. Let’s take a walk in the woods with a chainsaw.|
|Zimmerman can you even use i chainsaw? i mean we all know you are amazing with after affects, but a chainsaw takes real skill.|
|I can definitely use a chainsaw. I can’t breakdance on park rails but I can cut down a tree for sure.
Oh, I’m a photographer: after effects is for video guys.
|Good Job Zimmerman! you passed test number one, you actually know your computer programs!
i’m glad you can’t breakdance on park rails, cause i sure as hell can’t either. and it’s nice to have a level playing field
|oh but i guess i am still a level behind you cause i don’t spend all my time jockin travis rice’s nuts trying to get a picture of the next cool double cork|
|Wait, doesn’t Public Paradise 2 proudly display your park skills? It’s nice to be famous on the interweb, eh?
Level playing fields are for jocks. It’s all downhill from here kid…
|I’m definitely not swinging off Travis’ nuts, but if I was that kind of person I’d prefer it to be Rice and not Nick Lipton.|
|Zimmerman it’s understandable that you’re bitter. i mean you have two broken wrists from mountain biking, so you can’t even jack off. all you have left to do is be bitter towards people who still have hair|
|It’s hard to be bitter about my life, which is awesome all the fucking time. It’s true that I broke one wrist mountain biking and I’m bald as a newborn baby’s ass but at the very least I’m not a self conscious, fashion-challenged 18-year-old park jibber concerned with other dude’s masturbation habits.|
|To be honest i’m a little concerned that you know how old i am, or what i wear for that matter. what the hell have you been using those telephoto lenses for?|
|Kid, you put yourself out there. I don’t need a telephoto lens, or to even see you in person to get an idea of what you’re about. I’m pretty sure I WAS you when at 18. It’s why I’m having fun with this comment battle instead of driving up to Timberline to choke the life out of you.
Besides, you don’t use a telephoto lens to take photos of 10â€² park rails. For that I’d need a special 1992-make-women’s-halfpipe-airs-look-huge fisheye lens.
|Zim ZIm Zimmy, if i wanted your stone age wise words about who you were when you were an 18 year i would have asked what it was like to be bald before you can legally drink|
|Jesus kid, you’re like a broken record. I understand, you’re running out of ammo. Your grammar is suffering too. Poor little guy needs a nap! Maybe you can get Nick to film a Government Camp townie changing your diaper? Besides, at 18 the strongest drink you can legally have came from your mama’s titty.|
|for having me so well figured out, you sure are confused about me zimmy. I’m not anywhere near govy, nor do i live there, or spend large amounts of time there. and in what world would any sane person let a “government camp townie” anywhere near a diaper?|
|Are you kidding, I bet a lot of the townies in Govy WEAR diapers…|
|First i’d like to thank zimmerman for the most fun i’ve had on yobeat ever
next i’d like to say congrats on out witting me, not that it was hard, but still you win
and last, i’m thrilled that i got an full grow adult to take part in a waste of time teenager comment board battle.
I look forward to next time Zimmy, keep it angry!
So who wins? Well, it doesn’t really matter, now does it? After all, arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded. Be sure to check out our new forum, where you should definitely attempt to start your own arguments with Tim Zimmerman.