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Hump Day with Nick Dirks

Photography by Jordan Strong

I’ve known Nick Dirks for years. When we first met he had a buzz cut, baggy pants, and skated way better than he could snowboard. Interestingly enough, he was still better than everyone at snowboarding. Jarad Hadi and I met him at Timberline in the summer. Jarad was trying backflips, so Nick joined in. We weren’t old enough to drive, so eventually mommy said it was time to go. After that we would meet up with Nick everyday to ride, piss off the summer camps, and generally do things we shouldn’t have. Almost ten years later Nick is one of the hottest up and coming snowboarders on earth. Nick’s come up wasn’t the easiest though. Unlike most pro’s and am’s Nick wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth and those humble beginnings in Sandy, Oregon have paid off. While he still can’t stay out of trouble, Dirks’s snowboarding has given him a life, a paycheck, and many great stories.

Yobeat: How did you get to where you are? A few years ago you couldn’t jump, but in These Days you had some pretty impressive jump shots.

Dirks: I still cant jump. Joe (Carlino) is just really good at editing. I just do 180’s and 360’s, I keep it simple.

Yobeat: They were pretty big jumps though. Do you secretly practice while no one is watching?

Dirks: (Laughing) No just go fast. Snowboarders are pussies.

Yobeat: Really. Does anyone stand out to you as a big pussy?

Dirks: You trying to make me start something?

Yobeat: No, I do this to everyone.

Dirks: Then yeah, anyone who is not on Skeleton Crew.

YObeat: I hear, and have seen, you piss in weird places. What’s up with that?

Dirks: Yeah I’ve been known to pee in random corners, dressers, under restaurant tables, etc. But that isn’t me, that’s Dick Jerks.

Yobeat: Is Dick Jerks your alto ego after a few beers?

Dirks: More than a few beers…

Yobeat: I’ve met that guy.

Dirks: Yeah, I most likely don’t remember. But I’m not saying sorry.

Yobeat: What’s the weirdest job you’ve ever had?

Dirks: Hmm… Maybe night security at Timberline Lodge. You remember that?

Yobeat: Yeah, you let everyone hit the Timberline rail. What about pizza guy in Gresham, Oregon?

Dirks: That was just cool. Not weird. Free pizza, tips, and minimal work. Plus, I got to drive around all night.

Yobeat: Nicole Richie or Paris Hilton?

Dirks: Richie.

Yobeat: Natalie Portman or Megan Fox?

Dirks: Portman. Wait let me google them. Oh, Fox is hot, but so is Portman. Both?

Yobeat: Portman shaved head? Or with hair?

Dirks: Hair, but shaved is kinda freaky.

Yobeat: You’ve been really into taking photos for the last year or two. How did you get into that? (Dirks gets distracted staring at his computer screen)

Dirks: What? Sorry I was looking up Kacey Jordan.

Yobeat: Nice, how’s her career going.

Dirks: Pretty well it looks like. You know her I’m sure.

Yobeat: We had Senior English together. Ask Jarad (Hadi) if he knows her. So Polaroid’s, how did u get into that?

Dirks: I think I just didn’t have a camera at the time and I found a Polaroid, it seemed convenient.

Yobeat: Now you have the special Polaroid camera right?

Dirks: Oh man, the dream machine. Every photo you take looks amazing. So instant. So classic.

Yobeat: Can you change the lens?

Dirks: Yep, I have a few lenses for it. It’s heavy equipment man. It gives me whiplash.

Yobeat: Word has it you dropped a lot of money on film once Polaroid announced it had stopped production.

Dirks: I stocked my fridge, lately I have been capitalizing on film sales through Ebay. It’s cool, I’ll be covered for life.

Yobeat: You are notorious for spending money in odd, big ways. Have you ever considered an agent? Like some of the big guys have.

Dirks: Yeah, I almost had one for a quick minute. But really? What do I need one for? I’m not trying to be involved with Target or Tide. That stuff is wack.

Yobeat: Would you ride for Redbull if they offered you a million a year?

Dirks: No shit.

Yobeat: Would you ride for Shawn White Target brand clothes if they gave u a million a year?

Dirks: You’re making me sound like a cheese dick. But, no shit.

Yobeat: You sound like an economist. I’d ride for Tampax for a million a year.

Dirks: (Laughing) A million a year is a lot man. $$$.

Yobeat: Being an artist is cool these days. Robbie (Sell) quite riding sort of and is becoming a photographer. Have you given your after riding life any thought yet?

Dirks: Not really… but I know I would like to be involved somehow someway. Be it photos, design, managing, or whatever. I could have fun with that.

Yobeat: Why don’t you care? Like, about anything?

Dirks: What do yo mean?

Yobeat: Future? Eh… Pee under the bar? Eh… And at the Downtown Throwdown, you didn’t hit the rail once after practice, and it was a rail jam.

Dirks: Burn bridges to stay warm? I dunno, I haven’t snowboarded in months man! What do people expect me to chuck? A 270 on and off? I forgot how to strap in. I wasn’t trying to break myself for the season.

Yobeat: Are you bummed that you aren’t a skater?

Dirks: What do you mean? I am a skateboarder. Dick…

Yobeat: I’m talking career status. Would you rather skate for a living or snowboard?

Dirks: I’m not sure? I would have to test out both worlds. Wait, no, skateboarder.

Yobeat: You’re still watching Kacey Jordan aren’t you?

Dirks: (Laughing) I just found videos.

Yobeat: Try looking up Gianna Michaels. She is the Travis Rice of Pornstars. Try prosnowboarderporn.com.

Dirks: Ha…shut up.

Yobeat: My website would probably be, writeaboutporn.com. I’d stare at really hot and sexy verbs. Let’s wrap up. Life goals; have fun, get loose, get paid, Skeleton Crew. Did I miss anything? Who pays the electric bill?

Dirks: Nope, you nailed it. K2, Airblaster, Comune, ????, Ashbury!, Exit, and Dakine. There is a secret in there.

Every word in this post-even those based on real people-are entirely fictional. The quotes might be bullshit too.
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Comments (9)

  1. I’ve also met Dick Jerks, and honestly he’s not too bad of a guy. Just loose.

     
  2. Nick takes poops in weird places to.

     
  3. for once i actually enjoyed something you wrote…

    better not make it happen again

     
  4. kasey jordan. i hear shes getting out of the porn world. she wants a “normal life.” i heard about plans about being a stripper in portland. no joke. get hyped.

     
  5. I met Nick at that skate park over the summer and had no idea he who he was, didn’t matter cause he just seemed like a cool guy, he gave me the good advise of just going for it to hit the top of the 9 foot.

     
  6. but then again i didn’t know that i had gone to school with kasey jordan for quite awhile either.

     
  7. I have a preview from the Paris Hilton movie on my website. To bad it got relased onto the internet for everyone to watch. She did not want it to be public as it was her ex boyfriend Rick Salomon that leeched it.

     
  8. […] a freak snowstorm to ride never before seen faces of East Portland. Somewhere else in the city Nick Dirks and Jarad Hadi were filiming their video parts for VG. Shaun White was there too. Then the snow […]

     
  9. […] a freak snowstorm to ride never before seen faces of East Portland. Somewhere else in the city Nick Dirks and Jarad Hadi were filiming their video parts for VG. Shaun White was there too. Then the snow […]

     

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